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Substance Abuse
20 Year Old Son has drug problem
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 541764" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>I was never a big fan of home drug tests. We had difficult child drug tested by a lab many times when she was still living at home, but that was a condition for her living here. Once she moved out we couldn't do that. As TL said they know all the ways to beat the drug tests. Even the ones in a lab can be beaten but it's much harder to do that. I also agree that it's not clear what that information will get you. You still are not giving him the car and a positive drug test will not make him want to go to rehab any sooner.</p><p></p><p>I think you are going to have to back off. He's living on his own and paying his bills. He's an adult in the eyes of the law. You may not like what he is doing, and of course you don't, but there isn't much you can do about it at this point. He will have to decide if his life becomes unmanageable enough to want to change it. Right now it is not so there is no incentive to stop. And as much as you want to, you cannot be his incentive to change, only he can do that. If he loses his job or gets a DUI or can't pay his rent those are the consequences that he will suffer if he continues using drugs. I know, that's where I am at right now, just waiting for her to hit bottom.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 541764, member: 59"] I was never a big fan of home drug tests. We had difficult child drug tested by a lab many times when she was still living at home, but that was a condition for her living here. Once she moved out we couldn't do that. As TL said they know all the ways to beat the drug tests. Even the ones in a lab can be beaten but it's much harder to do that. I also agree that it's not clear what that information will get you. You still are not giving him the car and a positive drug test will not make him want to go to rehab any sooner. I think you are going to have to back off. He's living on his own and paying his bills. He's an adult in the eyes of the law. You may not like what he is doing, and of course you don't, but there isn't much you can do about it at this point. He will have to decide if his life becomes unmanageable enough to want to change it. Right now it is not so there is no incentive to stop. And as much as you want to, you cannot be his incentive to change, only he can do that. If he loses his job or gets a DUI or can't pay his rent those are the consequences that he will suffer if he continues using drugs. I know, that's where I am at right now, just waiting for her to hit bottom. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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20 Year Old Son has drug problem
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