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Parent Emeritus
20 yo still at home, no job - desperate mother!
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 704335" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>How do YOU feel about him delaying the payment to you Hilli?</p><p></p><p>Is this the very first agreement on your list? Do you believe him when he says he will have it tomorrow?</p><p></p><p>If he agreed to have the money by today just a week ago, what could have occurred to miss this deadline?</p><p></p><p>This is a hard call Hilli. You and he made the agreements and already he is waffling. Our kids excel at not keeping their word, they are used to us caving in.</p><p></p><p>I don't know what the right thing to do is, only you know that. If you allow him to slide on this one and wait on the entire amount until tomorrow, I think he will have used up any leeway on this agreement already and from here on out, he has to keep ALL the rest of the agreements. And, you should let him know that. If you decide that the agreement holds, then you might offer him a list of the local shelters and food banks as you escort him to the door.</p><p></p><p>These are the difficult decisions our kids place on us, there is really no right answer Hilli, only what you can live with. I think if it were me, I would give him a few more hours to come up with the money and then state unequivocally that this is the last time you will waver......so if he is testing you, this will be the last test because there are no more next times, next time he is evicted.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 704335, member: 13542"] How do YOU feel about him delaying the payment to you Hilli? Is this the very first agreement on your list? Do you believe him when he says he will have it tomorrow? If he agreed to have the money by today just a week ago, what could have occurred to miss this deadline? This is a hard call Hilli. You and he made the agreements and already he is waffling. Our kids excel at not keeping their word, they are used to us caving in. I don't know what the right thing to do is, only you know that. If you allow him to slide on this one and wait on the entire amount until tomorrow, I think he will have used up any leeway on this agreement already and from here on out, he has to keep ALL the rest of the agreements. And, you should let him know that. If you decide that the agreement holds, then you might offer him a list of the local shelters and food banks as you escort him to the door. These are the difficult decisions our kids place on us, there is really no right answer Hilli, only what you can live with. I think if it were me, I would give him a few more hours to come up with the money and then state unequivocally that this is the last time you will waver......so if he is testing you, this will be the last test because there are no more next times, next time he is evicted. [/QUOTE]
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