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Parent Emeritus
20 yo still at home, no job - desperate mother!
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 704386" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I am right there with you in bed. Just a few miles a way, I think, but there with you. Literally. I have been bed again for 2 days.</p><p>I see it a little differently. I see letting him stay, is giving up on him.</p><p></p><p>Fearing that you have to accept his terms, because he is too impaired or too stuck or far gone, to change. After all, what you are seeking is that he stand up for himself and live a better life.</p><p></p><p>To let him do what he wants in your own space, disregarding his commitments to you which he freely made, allowing him to transgress your limits--is in effect, to betray him. You have acted in the best faith. Not just to protect yourself, but to protect him, in the only way you still can. To say: <em>Here, there will be honor. Here, there will be accountability. With me, there will be a bottom line.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>Honestly, at this moment, in these circumstances, do you think you had any other option, that would have maintained your own integrity, and allowed him the possibility to regain his own?</p><p></p><p>As far as your parents not understanding...what does that have to do with anything? You are responsible for you. Let them think what they want. Parents and other family members, friends, often undermine us. They do not know the entire story. And even if they did, this is your story, not theirs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 704386, member: 18958"] I am right there with you in bed. Just a few miles a way, I think, but there with you. Literally. I have been bed again for 2 days. I see it a little differently. I see letting him stay, is giving up on him. Fearing that you have to accept his terms, because he is too impaired or too stuck or far gone, to change. After all, what you are seeking is that he stand up for himself and live a better life. To let him do what he wants in your own space, disregarding his commitments to you which he freely made, allowing him to transgress your limits--is in effect, to betray him. You have acted in the best faith. Not just to protect yourself, but to protect him, in the only way you still can. To say: [I]Here, there will be honor. Here, there will be accountability. With me, there will be a bottom line. [/I] Honestly, at this moment, in these circumstances, do you think you had any other option, that would have maintained your own integrity, and allowed him the possibility to regain his own? As far as your parents not understanding...what does that have to do with anything? You are responsible for you. Let them think what they want. Parents and other family members, friends, often undermine us. They do not know the entire story. And even if they did, this is your story, not theirs. [/QUOTE]
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