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Parent Emeritus
20 yo still at home, no job - desperate mother!
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 704451" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Well, all these posts happened after you decided to stick to the line of your contract...but now you have decided to pause. And I think that is OK...probably most people here do too. You are very clear that this feels right to you, and that is the goal. You have gathered support from those around you, which will certainly be helpful if things go awry on January 2nd. </p><p></p><p>The quotes above still apply though...at some point holding him to expectations is a form of respect. Unfortunately making this choice has never helped my son...he continues to sink through the strata of society, finding levels lower than I ever knew existed...when I think he is finally on bottom he finds somewhere lower. No, my sticking to the contract didn't ever help him. But nor did keeping him at home, or offering help, or sending him to therapy, or to programs. Nothing I did helped him. Because it is his life to live, not mine. I can't make his life happen. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>But you can make your own life happen, and in doing that be a resource for those around you..your boyfriend, parents, friends, family, even your son. Try to avoid the enticement of bed when things go wrong. Work on strenthening yourself..meditation, exercise, posting here...in case things get hard again.</p><p></p><p>Good luck to you. I think you are doing really well!</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 704451, member: 17269"] Well, all these posts happened after you decided to stick to the line of your contract...but now you have decided to pause. And I think that is OK...probably most people here do too. You are very clear that this feels right to you, and that is the goal. You have gathered support from those around you, which will certainly be helpful if things go awry on January 2nd. The quotes above still apply though...at some point holding him to expectations is a form of respect. Unfortunately making this choice has never helped my son...he continues to sink through the strata of society, finding levels lower than I ever knew existed...when I think he is finally on bottom he finds somewhere lower. No, my sticking to the contract didn't ever help him. But nor did keeping him at home, or offering help, or sending him to therapy, or to programs. Nothing I did helped him. Because it is his life to live, not mine. I can't make his life happen. But you can make your own life happen, and in doing that be a resource for those around you..your boyfriend, parents, friends, family, even your son. Try to avoid the enticement of bed when things go wrong. Work on strenthening yourself..meditation, exercise, posting here...in case things get hard again. Good luck to you. I think you are doing really well! Echo [/QUOTE]
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20 yo still at home, no job - desperate mother!
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