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<blockquote data-quote="gottaloveem" data-source="post: 129302" data-attributes="member: 1953"><p>It is not your fault. Using drugs and alcohol is a choice he is making. Now his choices are ruining his life and he still chooses to use. The best you can hope for is for him to hit rock bottom. Usually that's what it takes before a person stops abusing drugs and alcohol. No matter what you did, what parenting technique you used, how early you learned of his drug use, if he was determined enough, he would've found a way to use. </p><p></p><p>Over the years we have had some very determined kids here on conduct disorders. My son was a perfect example. If you have noticed in my signature, we lost our oldest son almost two years ago. This was due to a drug overdose. My son was determined to do what he wanted no matter what consequences my husband and I gave him. He had no license, no money, no rides to anywhere but work and school. We went through hell and back and to hell again. He spent time in juvy (one month) after my husband made the heart wrenching decision to call the cops on him. Nothing seemed to phase him. His behavior was awful, we didn't realize how heavy into drugs he was until about 6 weeks before he died. He finally admitted he was addicted to heroin, he tried to go cold turkey to quit, it was horrible. Finally they gave him suboxone and he was able to stop using. He was clean for three weeks till he relapsed and died. We miss our son so much it breaks my heart everyday, he could've had such a nicer life. He was extremely bright, funny, and had a personality that owned a room. He could've done so much with his life. It's like when he was around 14, he took the wrong path and my husband and I spent the rest of his life trying to chase him to get him to turn around.</p><p></p><p>You say you have lost hope and I do understand that. I know it's hard to have hope when our kids become addicts but some do change. I just had lunch with a friend yesterday, he is 2 1/2 years sober. He hit his bottom at 44 years old. He had a huge problem with drugs and alcohol. He is doing great. Granted he is much older, his problems started for him in his early 20's. He once again reminded me that my sons drug problem belonged to my son. That we as parents did not cause this for him. That the decision to stop was a decision only my son could've made. </p><p></p><p>Think about going to an alanon or narcanon meeting. There is also a group called families anonymous. I think any of these meetings will provide the support that you need.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gottaloveem, post: 129302, member: 1953"] It is not your fault. Using drugs and alcohol is a choice he is making. Now his choices are ruining his life and he still chooses to use. The best you can hope for is for him to hit rock bottom. Usually that's what it takes before a person stops abusing drugs and alcohol. No matter what you did, what parenting technique you used, how early you learned of his drug use, if he was determined enough, he would've found a way to use. Over the years we have had some very determined kids here on conduct disorders. My son was a perfect example. If you have noticed in my signature, we lost our oldest son almost two years ago. This was due to a drug overdose. My son was determined to do what he wanted no matter what consequences my husband and I gave him. He had no license, no money, no rides to anywhere but work and school. We went through hell and back and to hell again. He spent time in juvy (one month) after my husband made the heart wrenching decision to call the cops on him. Nothing seemed to phase him. His behavior was awful, we didn't realize how heavy into drugs he was until about 6 weeks before he died. He finally admitted he was addicted to heroin, he tried to go cold turkey to quit, it was horrible. Finally they gave him suboxone and he was able to stop using. He was clean for three weeks till he relapsed and died. We miss our son so much it breaks my heart everyday, he could've had such a nicer life. He was extremely bright, funny, and had a personality that owned a room. He could've done so much with his life. It's like when he was around 14, he took the wrong path and my husband and I spent the rest of his life trying to chase him to get him to turn around. You say you have lost hope and I do understand that. I know it's hard to have hope when our kids become addicts but some do change. I just had lunch with a friend yesterday, he is 2 1/2 years sober. He hit his bottom at 44 years old. He had a huge problem with drugs and alcohol. He is doing great. Granted he is much older, his problems started for him in his early 20's. He once again reminded me that my sons drug problem belonged to my son. That we as parents did not cause this for him. That the decision to stop was a decision only my son could've made. Think about going to an alanon or narcanon meeting. There is also a group called families anonymous. I think any of these meetings will provide the support that you need. [/QUOTE]
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