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22 year old son brings home new girlfriend of 3 weeks and she is sleeping in his bed
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<blockquote data-quote="TheyAreLegallyAdultsNow" data-source="post: 390830" data-attributes="member: 8405"><p>I'm curious, was the 2-year-relationship-girlfriend allowed to sleep over? </p><p></p><p>Might you be mourning the loss of his last girlfriend too in the middle of going through the divorce? </p><p></p><p>What you decide to allow in your home is your choice. I personally would not allow my adult child to have "romantic sleep over parties" in my home. But if you have in the past allowed the ex-girlfriend to stay, your son might be confused about why the new galpal is suddenly a problem. </p><p></p><p>Might your son be receptive to a heart-to-heart conversation? You could talk about how much you love him and how hard the divorce continues to be on the entire family, and how you need him to be respectful of you especially in your household, and how it is your job as his parent to prepare him for "real life." </p><p></p><p>I do think you'd be doing yourself and your son a favor by calmly and lovingly educating him that $25 is not "rent." It is a ONLY contribution towards covering A VERY SMALL FRACTION of the utilities he had already consumed in the prior week/month/whatever. Your son would also benefit from the education that chores are not rent. </p><p></p><p>It may be very difficult to establish healthy boundaries with your adult son. You may fear damaging or even loosing your relationship with him ... especially in the midst of the painful reality of divorce. </p><p></p><p>I do think it is important to try to establish healthy boundaries... Your son is at an age where it is appropriate for him to be "leaving the nest" very soon. Don't be afraid to see him fly. Do all you can to prepare him for the "real world." </p><p></p><p>My heart goes out to you... I know divorce must be painful... and an "impending empty nest" is difficult for most every family... that difficulty must be more intense with the end of a marriage happening during the process.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheyAreLegallyAdultsNow, post: 390830, member: 8405"] I'm curious, was the 2-year-relationship-girlfriend allowed to sleep over? Might you be mourning the loss of his last girlfriend too in the middle of going through the divorce? What you decide to allow in your home is your choice. I personally would not allow my adult child to have "romantic sleep over parties" in my home. But if you have in the past allowed the ex-girlfriend to stay, your son might be confused about why the new galpal is suddenly a problem. Might your son be receptive to a heart-to-heart conversation? You could talk about how much you love him and how hard the divorce continues to be on the entire family, and how you need him to be respectful of you especially in your household, and how it is your job as his parent to prepare him for "real life." I do think you'd be doing yourself and your son a favor by calmly and lovingly educating him that $25 is not "rent." It is a ONLY contribution towards covering A VERY SMALL FRACTION of the utilities he had already consumed in the prior week/month/whatever. Your son would also benefit from the education that chores are not rent. It may be very difficult to establish healthy boundaries with your adult son. You may fear damaging or even loosing your relationship with him ... especially in the midst of the painful reality of divorce. I do think it is important to try to establish healthy boundaries... Your son is at an age where it is appropriate for him to be "leaving the nest" very soon. Don't be afraid to see him fly. Do all you can to prepare him for the "real world." My heart goes out to you... I know divorce must be painful... and an "impending empty nest" is difficult for most every family... that difficulty must be more intense with the end of a marriage happening during the process. [/QUOTE]
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22 year old son brings home new girlfriend of 3 weeks and she is sleeping in his bed
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