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Substance Abuse
25 yr old son living at home, lies, steals, sneaks and cant keep a job
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<blockquote data-quote="tbod" data-source="post: 686206" data-attributes="member: 20297"><p>I will take your advice. its valuable. Thanks for having the courage to comment on your situation. I have a little insight into why I believe he, in particular developed a serious addition to marijuana. Pls let me know if this is similar to the reasons you are facing your issues. That will help me try and "get it". First, I believe It quiets the storm that's almost always going on in his head. It seems to be tied to the underlying issues of anxiety and anger. When he's high, he has a hard time being angry and anxious and as a result...feels better. I get it. However, the down side to that is that when he already has impulsivity issues, poor decision making, lack of self control, and attention seeking behaviors, being high only makes those things even worse. Now, some if it may be immaturity...but some of it is a huge anxiety issue he's always had. He does a tremendous amount of "self talk" out loud (usually in his bedroom when he thinks I can't hear him). Almost sounds like he's on the phone or something..when actually he's created a scenario in his head...and he's acting out his part...and I read that to mean that is some kind of a self-soothing mechanism for him to play out the issues in his head ...but verbally. Sometimes its sounds violent...like he's addressing someone that is threatening to him. Also, he used to rock a lot in the passenger seat of the car too...and also did a lot of that just before going to sleep. So, it makes sense that he's found something that helps calm him. He sees a psychiatric at least once a week...and I have to trust that is working in some way. In a way, I'm glad his pot smoking makes him feel better and perhaps after he's grown and on his own..maybe there will be a place for that, but its still a crutch and will limit his ability to function properly in a world that has huge expectations of him. That's probably one of my biggest fears for him. I've placed many boundaries in my household that he has to function within...and he does ok for the most part...or at least tries...but I'm hoping he gets to a place where he will be able to parent himself...and hopefully will get there. Just want him to get to a place where he can meet enough of the worlds expectations to be able to function on his own. I know we all want that for our kids. But, its frightening when you sometimes think that your child may not have enough of the "right stuff' to make it. He's got a job now at a local Chipotle and really hoping that works out for him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tbod, post: 686206, member: 20297"] I will take your advice. its valuable. Thanks for having the courage to comment on your situation. I have a little insight into why I believe he, in particular developed a serious addition to marijuana. Pls let me know if this is similar to the reasons you are facing your issues. That will help me try and "get it". First, I believe It quiets the storm that's almost always going on in his head. It seems to be tied to the underlying issues of anxiety and anger. When he's high, he has a hard time being angry and anxious and as a result...feels better. I get it. However, the down side to that is that when he already has impulsivity issues, poor decision making, lack of self control, and attention seeking behaviors, being high only makes those things even worse. Now, some if it may be immaturity...but some of it is a huge anxiety issue he's always had. He does a tremendous amount of "self talk" out loud (usually in his bedroom when he thinks I can't hear him). Almost sounds like he's on the phone or something..when actually he's created a scenario in his head...and he's acting out his part...and I read that to mean that is some kind of a self-soothing mechanism for him to play out the issues in his head ...but verbally. Sometimes its sounds violent...like he's addressing someone that is threatening to him. Also, he used to rock a lot in the passenger seat of the car too...and also did a lot of that just before going to sleep. So, it makes sense that he's found something that helps calm him. He sees a psychiatric at least once a week...and I have to trust that is working in some way. In a way, I'm glad his pot smoking makes him feel better and perhaps after he's grown and on his own..maybe there will be a place for that, but its still a crutch and will limit his ability to function properly in a world that has huge expectations of him. That's probably one of my biggest fears for him. I've placed many boundaries in my household that he has to function within...and he does ok for the most part...or at least tries...but I'm hoping he gets to a place where he will be able to parent himself...and hopefully will get there. Just want him to get to a place where he can meet enough of the worlds expectations to be able to function on his own. I know we all want that for our kids. But, its frightening when you sometimes think that your child may not have enough of the "right stuff' to make it. He's got a job now at a local Chipotle and really hoping that works out for him. [/QUOTE]
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25 yr old son living at home, lies, steals, sneaks and cant keep a job
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