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Substance Abuse
25 yr old son living at home, lies, steals, sneaks and cant keep a job
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 686225" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>[USER=20297]@tbod[/USER]: If it helps any, "not dealing with his issues very well" is a problem for all parents of these challenging kids... AND, in my experience, worse for Dads than for Moms. Per my hubby: life would go SO much better for our most challenging child, if he would just (insert whatever advice Dad would give, here). And of course, the recipient of the advice does the opposite, or something from another planet, <em>just because the logical thing got asked</em>. I know, it doesn't make sense. But. I can tell you that these kids react very strongly to how WE react to them. If he is anything toward Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) or Asperger's (diagnosis or not, he's got traits), then "do as I say" doesn't work... it has to be "do as I do", and done with absolute and total consistency. The slightest inconsistency means the "rule" is invalid, and therefore there is no rule.</p><p> </p><p>Example: No Speeding. (except if Dad is late for work). Umm. If there is an exception, then you can't say "no speeding".</p><p> </p><p>Its much easier if you start this stuff sooner. But you didn't know back then. been there done that. The sooner, the better. He isn't going to like it - he's gotten used to weaseling his way out of rules, because the rules don't make sense. And unfortunately, all too often, he's actually right.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 686225, member: 11791"] [USER=20297]@tbod[/USER]: If it helps any, "not dealing with his issues very well" is a problem for all parents of these challenging kids... AND, in my experience, worse for Dads than for Moms. Per my hubby: life would go SO much better for our most challenging child, if he would just (insert whatever advice Dad would give, here). And of course, the recipient of the advice does the opposite, or something from another planet, [I]just because the logical thing got asked[/I]. I know, it doesn't make sense. But. I can tell you that these kids react very strongly to how WE react to them. If he is anything toward Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) or Asperger's (diagnosis or not, he's got traits), then "do as I say" doesn't work... it has to be "do as I do", and done with absolute and total consistency. The slightest inconsistency means the "rule" is invalid, and therefore there is no rule. Example: No Speeding. (except if Dad is late for work). Umm. If there is an exception, then you can't say "no speeding". Its much easier if you start this stuff sooner. But you didn't know back then. been there done that. The sooner, the better. He isn't going to like it - he's gotten used to weaseling his way out of rules, because the rules don't make sense. And unfortunately, all too often, he's actually right. [/QUOTE]
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25 yr old son living at home, lies, steals, sneaks and cant keep a job
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