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Substance Abuse
25 yr old son living at home, lies, steals, sneaks and cant keep a job
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<blockquote data-quote="tbod" data-source="post: 686232" data-attributes="member: 20297"><p>Yep, you are totally correct. We were told back about 7 or 8 years ago by our family psychiatric...that we have to be "perfect" parents. However, as of late, amazingly, my son has indicated to me that he wants to comply with the rules...has stated he knows they are for his own good...and not an attack. And, for the most part he's complying. This is huge growth on his part. when he does well, or when it makes sense, I will add time on to the end of this curfew as a reward for showing maturity..but I'm very consistent with it. 24 years in the military has given me that mindset in spades! The things I have to work on include not losing my cool with him...as you've indicated in your note...as that kind of means to him its ok for him to lose his cool and that all bets are off...because, by definition, he doesn't understand nor want to obey the rules anyway. There's some progress...but it is a slow slow process. Not sure how my lovely wife does it...but she handles this stuff so much better than I do. Thinking it has a lot to do with keeping an eye on the big picture and not sweating things. She's good at that!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tbod, post: 686232, member: 20297"] Yep, you are totally correct. We were told back about 7 or 8 years ago by our family psychiatric...that we have to be "perfect" parents. However, as of late, amazingly, my son has indicated to me that he wants to comply with the rules...has stated he knows they are for his own good...and not an attack. And, for the most part he's complying. This is huge growth on his part. when he does well, or when it makes sense, I will add time on to the end of this curfew as a reward for showing maturity..but I'm very consistent with it. 24 years in the military has given me that mindset in spades! The things I have to work on include not losing my cool with him...as you've indicated in your note...as that kind of means to him its ok for him to lose his cool and that all bets are off...because, by definition, he doesn't understand nor want to obey the rules anyway. There's some progress...but it is a slow slow process. Not sure how my lovely wife does it...but she handles this stuff so much better than I do. Thinking it has a lot to do with keeping an eye on the big picture and not sweating things. She's good at that! [/QUOTE]
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Substance Abuse
25 yr old son living at home, lies, steals, sneaks and cant keep a job
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