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2nd kiddo with same complicated issue, LONG post
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 695097" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Some things I would do are first, follow the link in my sig or at the top of the forum and start a Parent Report. It is a report that you write about your child and keep updated as you journey through to figure out her challenges and how to help her overcome them or learn to live with them. It was probably the most powerful tool I had to help my son.</p><p></p><p>Second, get whatever referrals are needed to help your child. They can take a long while to process so the sooner started, the better.</p><p></p><p>Third, request an IEP from the school. I have no idea how parochial schools handle them as I avoided those like the plague after my experiences with them. Public schools can do MUCH more for a child with challenges as a public school is required by law to provide supports but the rules are different for parochial/private schools. The school she is in may not be best suited for her needs, and you have to evaluate that - it is a personal decision and not one I could dictate. </p><p></p><p>Fourth, get her in to see an occupational therapist for an evaluation for sensory integration disorder. It is a component of MANY childhood problems and esp with the fidgeting is something I would check on. It is also the disorder you can do the most for without medication. Read Kranowitz' The Out of Sync Child as it explains it so well. Then get a copy of The Out of Sync Child Has Fun by Kranowitz and take the time to do as many of the activities as your child will do with you. </p><p>When you see the occupational therapist, push her to start brushing therapy with your child even if she thinks your child is on the older end of the spectrum to start. The brain is a lot more able to change and rewire than many people think. Changes from this therapy are actually quite amazing and incredible. </p><p></p><p>Children do well WHEN THEY ARE ABLE, not when they want to. They generally want to do well and to please adults. If your child is not doing well in school or any other situation, generally it will be because she isn't ABLE to at that time. Pay attention to if she is tired, hungry, thirsty, overwhelmed, if the room is too loud, bright, quiet, etc... After a while, you will start to see a correlation between her ability to do things and how fast she gets frustrated and her environment. I know that I ALWAYS kept a few dollars and some protein bars in my purse because if I expected either of my boys to be able to go to the store or an activity after school was out, then they needed food. Hungry or after having sweets but no protein, neither of my boys (or my older brother for that matter) was able to behave for long or cope with a store. My youngest had severe sensory issues and we simply didn't go to certain places if he was hungry or tired because he couldn't cope. He couldn't even handle going to school 5 full days a week until 3rd or 4th grade. He would get overstimulated and start to sort of vibrate, I cannot describe it better but than his whole body having a very fine tremor that he couldn't stop. If I insisted he stay at school, he would end up melting down. His meltdowns generally consisted of curling up under furniture or in a closet, shaking, rocking, flapping his hands and chewing on his shirt until the entire front was soaking wet. Be 2nd grade he would just shake and chew his shirt and not respond to anything at all other than his older sister or I. She was a total sweetheart when his teacher would have someone call her out of class because he wouldn't respond, but I hated to push him to that point. So if his teacher or I thought he was overstimulated, he stayed home. He was always at the top of hsi class academically, even in the years he only went 3 days a week, so no one fussed about his attendance (thankfully). I was a stay at home mom because of this - someone had to be at home because of the boys challenges. </p><p></p><p>I remember being shocked at the first occupational therapy session because before a brushing session, my incredibly intelligent but uncoordinated son was trying to cut on a line and couldn't, and said he was a stupid useless idiot (not language allowed in our home because I think stupid is a far uglier word than the f word and I would rather hear my child use the f word than call anyone stupid). A short brushing session and he could not only cut on a line but his writing was almost readable and he felt much better about himself. It wasn't that he was saying nicer things - I could see he truly felt better and had more coordination. I cannot even begin to express the difference this therapy made for him and it involved zero medications and zero yelling or screaming or fighting. Even kids who don't enjoy the brushing enjoy other aspects - kids are drawn to certain activities and those are the ones that end up helping them. Activities from the book that thank you didn't like were ones he didn't have to do, because they didn't help. But the enjoyable ones oddly enough helped him learn to cope with the sensory input that overwhelmed and overstimulated him. The activities make up part of a sensory diet and they help reset a child's ability to cope. Many schools here have areas in the room where kids can take sensory breaks. It looks like playing but really is an important part of learning. </p><p></p><p>For your daughter, is writing a problem? If so, consider doing math with manipulatives. She works out the problem with beads or cheerios or raisins or m&ms, and you do the writing. So for a problem like 2+3, your daughter would set out 2 cheerios, 3 cheerios, and then a pile of 5 cheerios, and you would write it down for her. Even if you have her doing the writing, using manipulatives can make homework faster, more educational, and vastly less frustrating. Or, if she is overtired after a long day of school, tell her teachers that homework is not worth the fight and should be off the table. Some kids just cannot take more school after a long school day. Do assignments on the weekends with her, or simply urge the school to eliminate the requirement for her. They can grade her on her in class assignments or get her an aide to work in class with her. Also let them know that keeping in from recess is just not an option as she likely NEEDS that time to run and play and not be doing classwork. Taking recess away generally lowers grades across the board, for all students. So teachers who keep kids in to do homework are actually not helping, and there is good research to back this up. Kids learn far more from play than from homework, esp in the lower grades. </p><p></p><p>If you decide to evaluate other educational options, look to see if there are montessori schools in your area. They often do FAR more for kids with challenges than other schools do. I have heard great things about Waldorf schools, but my experiences were not good when we evaluated them. Not every child can learn in a traditional classroom, esp if they are very strict about work on paper, sitting in desks, etc... It is something to evaluate for your family and child. </p><p></p><p>I hope some of this helps. Take what works for your daughter and family and ignore the rest.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 695097, member: 1233"] Some things I would do are first, follow the link in my sig or at the top of the forum and start a Parent Report. It is a report that you write about your child and keep updated as you journey through to figure out her challenges and how to help her overcome them or learn to live with them. It was probably the most powerful tool I had to help my son. Second, get whatever referrals are needed to help your child. They can take a long while to process so the sooner started, the better. Third, request an IEP from the school. I have no idea how parochial schools handle them as I avoided those like the plague after my experiences with them. Public schools can do MUCH more for a child with challenges as a public school is required by law to provide supports but the rules are different for parochial/private schools. The school she is in may not be best suited for her needs, and you have to evaluate that - it is a personal decision and not one I could dictate. Fourth, get her in to see an occupational therapist for an evaluation for sensory integration disorder. It is a component of MANY childhood problems and esp with the fidgeting is something I would check on. It is also the disorder you can do the most for without medication. Read Kranowitz' The Out of Sync Child as it explains it so well. Then get a copy of The Out of Sync Child Has Fun by Kranowitz and take the time to do as many of the activities as your child will do with you. When you see the occupational therapist, push her to start brushing therapy with your child even if she thinks your child is on the older end of the spectrum to start. The brain is a lot more able to change and rewire than many people think. Changes from this therapy are actually quite amazing and incredible. Children do well WHEN THEY ARE ABLE, not when they want to. They generally want to do well and to please adults. If your child is not doing well in school or any other situation, generally it will be because she isn't ABLE to at that time. Pay attention to if she is tired, hungry, thirsty, overwhelmed, if the room is too loud, bright, quiet, etc... After a while, you will start to see a correlation between her ability to do things and how fast she gets frustrated and her environment. I know that I ALWAYS kept a few dollars and some protein bars in my purse because if I expected either of my boys to be able to go to the store or an activity after school was out, then they needed food. Hungry or after having sweets but no protein, neither of my boys (or my older brother for that matter) was able to behave for long or cope with a store. My youngest had severe sensory issues and we simply didn't go to certain places if he was hungry or tired because he couldn't cope. He couldn't even handle going to school 5 full days a week until 3rd or 4th grade. He would get overstimulated and start to sort of vibrate, I cannot describe it better but than his whole body having a very fine tremor that he couldn't stop. If I insisted he stay at school, he would end up melting down. His meltdowns generally consisted of curling up under furniture or in a closet, shaking, rocking, flapping his hands and chewing on his shirt until the entire front was soaking wet. Be 2nd grade he would just shake and chew his shirt and not respond to anything at all other than his older sister or I. She was a total sweetheart when his teacher would have someone call her out of class because he wouldn't respond, but I hated to push him to that point. So if his teacher or I thought he was overstimulated, he stayed home. He was always at the top of hsi class academically, even in the years he only went 3 days a week, so no one fussed about his attendance (thankfully). I was a stay at home mom because of this - someone had to be at home because of the boys challenges. I remember being shocked at the first occupational therapy session because before a brushing session, my incredibly intelligent but uncoordinated son was trying to cut on a line and couldn't, and said he was a stupid useless idiot (not language allowed in our home because I think stupid is a far uglier word than the f word and I would rather hear my child use the f word than call anyone stupid). A short brushing session and he could not only cut on a line but his writing was almost readable and he felt much better about himself. It wasn't that he was saying nicer things - I could see he truly felt better and had more coordination. I cannot even begin to express the difference this therapy made for him and it involved zero medications and zero yelling or screaming or fighting. Even kids who don't enjoy the brushing enjoy other aspects - kids are drawn to certain activities and those are the ones that end up helping them. Activities from the book that thank you didn't like were ones he didn't have to do, because they didn't help. But the enjoyable ones oddly enough helped him learn to cope with the sensory input that overwhelmed and overstimulated him. The activities make up part of a sensory diet and they help reset a child's ability to cope. Many schools here have areas in the room where kids can take sensory breaks. It looks like playing but really is an important part of learning. For your daughter, is writing a problem? If so, consider doing math with manipulatives. She works out the problem with beads or cheerios or raisins or m&ms, and you do the writing. So for a problem like 2+3, your daughter would set out 2 cheerios, 3 cheerios, and then a pile of 5 cheerios, and you would write it down for her. Even if you have her doing the writing, using manipulatives can make homework faster, more educational, and vastly less frustrating. Or, if she is overtired after a long day of school, tell her teachers that homework is not worth the fight and should be off the table. Some kids just cannot take more school after a long school day. Do assignments on the weekends with her, or simply urge the school to eliminate the requirement for her. They can grade her on her in class assignments or get her an aide to work in class with her. Also let them know that keeping in from recess is just not an option as she likely NEEDS that time to run and play and not be doing classwork. Taking recess away generally lowers grades across the board, for all students. So teachers who keep kids in to do homework are actually not helping, and there is good research to back this up. Kids learn far more from play than from homework, esp in the lower grades. If you decide to evaluate other educational options, look to see if there are montessori schools in your area. They often do FAR more for kids with challenges than other schools do. I have heard great things about Waldorf schools, but my experiences were not good when we evaluated them. Not every child can learn in a traditional classroom, esp if they are very strict about work on paper, sitting in desks, etc... It is something to evaluate for your family and child. I hope some of this helps. Take what works for your daughter and family and ignore the rest. [/QUOTE]
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