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<blockquote data-quote="seriously" data-source="post: 429958" data-attributes="member: 11920"><p>An hour is a long time for a 7 year old. I think 10 or 15 minutes max is how much you should be trying to "talk" about his feelings. And I would not expect him to be able to tell you how he's feeling in adult words. He's not an adult and he can't process things that way no matter how hard he tries. You could get one of those charts that has icons for different feelings - happy face for happy etc - and see if he can use that to help identify what he's feeling. But you need to keep it shorter than that and not make a laborious painful experience or he will begin completely refusing to engage that way and you don't want him to learn to do that already. He needs to see you as his ally - not his inquisitor.</p><p></p><p>You might try (I know, one more thing to try) having him draw a picture for you of how he feels. I found this worked much better with my kids than talking - turns out they both had language processing problems that I didn't know about. If he feels like telling you a story or something about the picture, great. If not, just say thanks can I keep this? and go on about your business.</p><p></p><p>Not sure what you mean by backfired when you say you tried various things. But a lot of the time you have to try something consistently in every setting (at home, at park, at church, at store) for at least 3 weeks before you can say that it's not working. And both parents have to be doing it in pretty much the same way for the same reasons/behaviors. Tell us more about what "backfired" and maybe we can help you figure it out. But giving up after one attempt is not enough to say that that idea isn't going to work at all.</p><p></p><p>Peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="seriously, post: 429958, member: 11920"] An hour is a long time for a 7 year old. I think 10 or 15 minutes max is how much you should be trying to "talk" about his feelings. And I would not expect him to be able to tell you how he's feeling in adult words. He's not an adult and he can't process things that way no matter how hard he tries. You could get one of those charts that has icons for different feelings - happy face for happy etc - and see if he can use that to help identify what he's feeling. But you need to keep it shorter than that and not make a laborious painful experience or he will begin completely refusing to engage that way and you don't want him to learn to do that already. He needs to see you as his ally - not his inquisitor. You might try (I know, one more thing to try) having him draw a picture for you of how he feels. I found this worked much better with my kids than talking - turns out they both had language processing problems that I didn't know about. If he feels like telling you a story or something about the picture, great. If not, just say thanks can I keep this? and go on about your business. Not sure what you mean by backfired when you say you tried various things. But a lot of the time you have to try something consistently in every setting (at home, at park, at church, at store) for at least 3 weeks before you can say that it's not working. And both parents have to be doing it in pretty much the same way for the same reasons/behaviors. Tell us more about what "backfired" and maybe we can help you figure it out. But giving up after one attempt is not enough to say that that idea isn't going to work at all. Peace. [/QUOTE]
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