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3 year old on Tenex!?
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<blockquote data-quote="Sister's Keeper" data-source="post: 683973" data-attributes="member: 20051"><p>Roxona,</p><p></p><p>I think your advice is very smart. Trying to think from a child's point of view, putting aside the behavioral issues for now, I imagine that it is very difficult to have someone new come into your life and change everything that you are used to, and on top of that that person is always angry of you, or disapproving. (even if it is deserved)</p><p></p><p>Callee, I think it may be a smart thing to attempt Roxona's method, and you take over the parenting and let your husband be more involved in the "happy" or fun things.</p><p></p><p>A few questions. I know you said she is having behavior problems at school, how is she with bio dad? Are there the same types of issues? </p><p></p><p>When you say she hears you but can't seem to understand, is that in all matters or just in regards to discipline. Is it more evident with complex or abstract ideas?</p><p></p><p>Can you, say, give her a mundane task like, "Close the door," and she can follow it? </p><p></p><p>How is her speech? Is she or has she been on target with other milestones? It truly sounds like there is more going on than just "bad" behavior.</p><p></p><p>My littlest is delayed. She has some speech delays and is behind her peers socially. While we don't have any behavior problems, as in acting out, she does cry easily when she is frustrated. She needs more concrete and simple instructions than the others did at her age.</p><p></p><p>I can say to her "Close the door," and she does it. If I tell her close and lock the door," she will likely do one and not the other, but if I tell her to close the door, and she does, and then I say, "Now lock it," she will. She just can't follow multiple steps.</p><p></p><p>I wonder, also, instead of discipline, you have tried positive reinforcement. For me it will go a ways if I offer a "treat" for "good behavior." Like if she puts her toys away without a ton of prompting, I say something like, "You did such a good job of putting your toys away by yourself, let's take a break and read a story or play a game."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sister's Keeper, post: 683973, member: 20051"] Roxona, I think your advice is very smart. Trying to think from a child's point of view, putting aside the behavioral issues for now, I imagine that it is very difficult to have someone new come into your life and change everything that you are used to, and on top of that that person is always angry of you, or disapproving. (even if it is deserved) Callee, I think it may be a smart thing to attempt Roxona's method, and you take over the parenting and let your husband be more involved in the "happy" or fun things. A few questions. I know you said she is having behavior problems at school, how is she with bio dad? Are there the same types of issues? When you say she hears you but can't seem to understand, is that in all matters or just in regards to discipline. Is it more evident with complex or abstract ideas? Can you, say, give her a mundane task like, "Close the door," and she can follow it? How is her speech? Is she or has she been on target with other milestones? It truly sounds like there is more going on than just "bad" behavior. My littlest is delayed. She has some speech delays and is behind her peers socially. While we don't have any behavior problems, as in acting out, she does cry easily when she is frustrated. She needs more concrete and simple instructions than the others did at her age. I can say to her "Close the door," and she does it. If I tell her close and lock the door," she will likely do one and not the other, but if I tell her to close the door, and she does, and then I say, "Now lock it," she will. She just can't follow multiple steps. I wonder, also, instead of discipline, you have tried positive reinforcement. For me it will go a ways if I offer a "treat" for "good behavior." Like if she puts her toys away without a ton of prompting, I say something like, "You did such a good job of putting your toys away by yourself, let's take a break and read a story or play a game." [/QUOTE]
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