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Parent Emeritus
34yo Difficult Child back in area, same ol, same ol
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 675558" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>What a nasty shock.</p><p></p><p>No one who has not been through this could possibly understand the multiple levels of betrayal involved.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>Our son did something similar once.</p><p></p><p>What he did was wrong on so many levels. That we were confronted with just how far our son had fallen, to have done such a thing, was a betrayal in itself. Once again, we were left without the means to address any of it without making the whole story even uglier than it was. We had learned, by that time, that it was better to do our bleeding in private, and that is what we did. It was shaming. It changed the way those he had spoken to interacted with us for a time. It is still shaming, to know that he did those things. There is a smack of moral depravity in it that shreds the last, lingering threads of hope we did not know we were holding onto. </p><p></p><p>What the kids seem never to understand is that the stories that worked when they were teenagers leave them looking not only foolish but morally deficient, when they are in their thirties and still blaming their parents.</p><p></p><p>It's a whole new level of embarrassing for everyone involved.</p><p></p><p>How awful for all of you. I wonder whether the grandmother will give him the van. I suppose there is a good chance that she will, or son would not still be having dinner with them.</p><p></p><p>What a rotten thing to have happened.</p><p></p><p>I think there is nothing you can do. Unless the grands are not of sound mind, they have the right to make their own decisions regarding their grandson. The grandson will have put them squarely on the spot, one meal at a time.</p><p></p><p>Holding you in my thoughts, Seeking.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 675558, member: 17461"] What a nasty shock. No one who has not been through this could possibly understand the multiple levels of betrayal involved. *** Our son did something similar once. What he did was wrong on so many levels. That we were confronted with just how far our son had fallen, to have done such a thing, was a betrayal in itself. Once again, we were left without the means to address any of it without making the whole story even uglier than it was. We had learned, by that time, that it was better to do our bleeding in private, and that is what we did. It was shaming. It changed the way those he had spoken to interacted with us for a time. It is still shaming, to know that he did those things. There is a smack of moral depravity in it that shreds the last, lingering threads of hope we did not know we were holding onto. What the kids seem never to understand is that the stories that worked when they were teenagers leave them looking not only foolish but morally deficient, when they are in their thirties and still blaming their parents.[I][/I] It's a whole new level of embarrassing for everyone involved. How awful for all of you. I wonder whether the grandmother will give him the van. I suppose there is a good chance that she will, or son would not still be having dinner with them. What a rotten thing to have happened. I think there is nothing you can do. Unless the grands are not of sound mind, they have the right to make their own decisions regarding their grandson. The grandson will have put them squarely on the spot, one meal at a time. Holding you in my thoughts, Seeking. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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34yo Difficult Child back in area, same ol, same ol
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