Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
39 year old homeless son
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 752244" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Trust me I see both sides of the coin. But there comes a point where you will ask yourself “when is enough, enough?” Fighting through the feelings, the angst, the pain in your heart and soul is the only way to ever put a stop to it. Do you want this pattern of enabling to go on until your death or until it’s the death of you? They will never learn they are capable of taking care of themselves if we keep rescuing them. </p><p></p><p>I’ve been working on this for quite some time and I still hurt but what tools will I have given them if I die tomorrow? When you think about it, it’s almost selfish of us to squash their potential to thrive. Nothing that is worth attaining is easy. There may be a season of pain but I’m at a point where I’ve lived in the season of pain too long enabling my two sons. This is NOT easy but I’m praying that there will be a better season someday where we each have boundaries we can respect. </p><p></p><p>If giving financially doesn’t affect you or your spouse or other family members than that’s great but if your giving is causing resentment, anger, fear and frustration than the giving is not coming from a healthy place. </p><p></p><p>When I first went to Al anon 2 1/2 years ago I did not know how warped and sick my thought process was. When I finally saw how bad off I was, it took and is still is taking a lot of hard work to get better. You see, we become part of the problem. We need to fix ourselves. When we start to see tiny steps of progress we are making we then realize we can do it. It’s not a easy but it’s better than being in the quicksand struggling to survive. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there and try to focus on yourself. </p><p></p><p>Sending prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 752244, member: 23405"] Trust me I see both sides of the coin. But there comes a point where you will ask yourself “when is enough, enough?” Fighting through the feelings, the angst, the pain in your heart and soul is the only way to ever put a stop to it. Do you want this pattern of enabling to go on until your death or until it’s the death of you? They will never learn they are capable of taking care of themselves if we keep rescuing them. I’ve been working on this for quite some time and I still hurt but what tools will I have given them if I die tomorrow? When you think about it, it’s almost selfish of us to squash their potential to thrive. Nothing that is worth attaining is easy. There may be a season of pain but I’m at a point where I’ve lived in the season of pain too long enabling my two sons. This is NOT easy but I’m praying that there will be a better season someday where we each have boundaries we can respect. If giving financially doesn’t affect you or your spouse or other family members than that’s great but if your giving is causing resentment, anger, fear and frustration than the giving is not coming from a healthy place. When I first went to Al anon 2 1/2 years ago I did not know how warped and sick my thought process was. When I finally saw how bad off I was, it took and is still is taking a lot of hard work to get better. You see, we become part of the problem. We need to fix ourselves. When we start to see tiny steps of progress we are making we then realize we can do it. It’s not a easy but it’s better than being in the quicksand struggling to survive. Hang in there and try to focus on yourself. Sending prayers. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
39 year old homeless son
Top