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Parent Emeritus
39 year old homeless son
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 752253" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Terry.</p><p></p><p>You would be welcomed at Al anon. There are members in my group that have adult children addicted to drugs. The program teaches you to focus on you. Something you may not be doing much having to be the grandkids parents. Putting the focus on you will in a sense take the focus off your adult son. As you get healthier minded you will be able to set and keep boundaries. For me the only thing that’s helped with the guilt is prayer and Gods graces. I just heard something in Al anon tonight. “Love = Let Others Voluntarily Evolve.”</p><p></p><p>It’s hard Terry our caring and concern starts out because we love, care and don’t want our loved ones to suffer. But then for me it was worrying my sons wouldn’t think I was a good mother if I didn’t help them financially.</p><p></p><p>I realized if they didn’t know how much I loved them by now what more was I to give? As it turned out I had given them control over me and my life had become unmanageable.</p><p></p><p>Don’t beat yourself up. As you know better, you do better and before you know it tiny steps to a better way of life begin to evolve.</p><p></p><p>Sending hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 752253, member: 23405"] Terry. You would be welcomed at Al anon. There are members in my group that have adult children addicted to drugs. The program teaches you to focus on you. Something you may not be doing much having to be the grandkids parents. Putting the focus on you will in a sense take the focus off your adult son. As you get healthier minded you will be able to set and keep boundaries. For me the only thing that’s helped with the guilt is prayer and Gods graces. I just heard something in Al anon tonight. “Love = Let Others Voluntarily Evolve.” It’s hard Terry our caring and concern starts out because we love, care and don’t want our loved ones to suffer. But then for me it was worrying my sons wouldn’t think I was a good mother if I didn’t help them financially. I realized if they didn’t know how much I loved them by now what more was I to give? As it turned out I had given them control over me and my life had become unmanageable. Don’t beat yourself up. As you know better, you do better and before you know it tiny steps to a better way of life begin to evolve. Sending hugs [/QUOTE]
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Parent Emeritus
39 year old homeless son
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