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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 640080" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I'm sorry. That is a peculiar kind of pain, isn't it. difficult child daughter had that sort of defenseless hyperawareness ~ that understanding that people would (and had the power to) move her along.</p><p></p><p>I was very shocked and hurt to see it.</p><p></p><p>Somehow, none of it was a game, anymore. People could, and did, do that to my daughter.</p><p></p><p>I never forgot that feeling.</p><p></p><p>I could cry, thinking about it, now.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I love this! I love that he did this. Where did he find the Febreze?</p><p></p><p>Echo, where did a homeless person find Febreze?</p><p></p><p>Echo, this is so amazing.</p><p></p><p>I do believe we come to love and come to think about and to be more intricately involved with our difficult child children than ever a parent of a easy child could be. </p><p></p><p>I love that he did this for you.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>You chose honesty, Echo. That is always the hardest choice. You respect both yourself and your son enough to choose honest.</p><p></p><p>This gives your difficult child something to think about, something real.</p><p></p><p>Who knows where this tiny piece of honest interaction with a mother who loves him enough to tell him true things will take difficult child over the long run?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Totally proud of him. </p><p></p><p>Generous with his time. Honest, in that he will not steal the foodstamps or whatever.</p><p></p><p>Those are amazing true things about your boy too, Echo.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>We are in a hard place, Echo.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you took the hard way, the honest hard way, through it instead of any of the other choices you may have made about how to change your feeling state. It is tragic, what has happened to our children. It took great courage, to see him, to admit it, to let it be.</p><p> </p><p>You love him that much.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It is very hard, a huge step, to let go of our protections, to admit that maybe this is all real, and that it isn't going to change.</p><p></p><p>You did well, Echo.</p><p></p><p>Remember when I was posting about that song, Halleluiah? About love being, not a triumph, but it's a cold, and it's a broken, halleluiah....</p><p></p><p>Love comes in so many shades and colors and tints. Like a kaliedescope.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I have felt that shame, and that defiance.</p><p></p><p>I want to protect my child, but I am ashamed, and I don't know where to stand, inside.</p><p></p><p>It comes out as defiance.</p><p></p><p>Only I use the F word, not the S word.</p><p></p><p>Not out loud, of course.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 640080, member: 17461"] I'm sorry. That is a peculiar kind of pain, isn't it. difficult child daughter had that sort of defenseless hyperawareness ~ that understanding that people would (and had the power to) move her along. I was very shocked and hurt to see it. Somehow, none of it was a game, anymore. People could, and did, do that to my daughter. I never forgot that feeling. I could cry, thinking about it, now. I love this! I love that he did this. Where did he find the Febreze? Echo, where did a homeless person find Febreze? Echo, this is so amazing. I do believe we come to love and come to think about and to be more intricately involved with our difficult child children than ever a parent of a easy child could be. I love that he did this for you. You chose honesty, Echo. That is always the hardest choice. You respect both yourself and your son enough to choose honest. This gives your difficult child something to think about, something real. Who knows where this tiny piece of honest interaction with a mother who loves him enough to tell him true things will take difficult child over the long run? Totally proud of him. Generous with his time. Honest, in that he will not steal the foodstamps or whatever. Those are amazing true things about your boy too, Echo. We are in a hard place, Echo. I am glad you took the hard way, the honest hard way, through it instead of any of the other choices you may have made about how to change your feeling state. It is tragic, what has happened to our children. It took great courage, to see him, to admit it, to let it be. You love him that much. It is very hard, a huge step, to let go of our protections, to admit that maybe this is all real, and that it isn't going to change. You did well, Echo. Remember when I was posting about that song, Halleluiah? About love being, not a triumph, but it's a cold, and it's a broken, halleluiah.... Love comes in so many shades and colors and tints. Like a kaliedescope. I have felt that shame, and that defiance. I want to protect my child, but I am ashamed, and I don't know where to stand, inside. It comes out as defiance. Only I use the F word, not the S word. Not out loud, of course. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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