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$5.37
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterby" data-source="post: 335602" data-attributes="member: 7083"><p>The following doesn't mean we're old or even getting old...Just</p><p></p><p> that we like a good story...yeah, right.</p><p> </p><p></p><p> <strong>Subject: $5.37??</strong></p><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">$5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. </span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me.</span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully.</span></strong></span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen?</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I </span></strong>sat<strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?</span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.</span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted!</span></strong></span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">What am I now? A toddler?</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"</span></strong></span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I stared with utter disdain at the keys.</span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I began to rationalize in my mind.</span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly!</span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">It could happen to anyone!"</span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I turned and headed back to the truck.</span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn.</span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">What now?</span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I checked my keys and tried another. </span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Still nothing.</span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror..</span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror.</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Then, a few other objects came into focus. The </span></strong>car seat<strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> in the back seat. </span></strong>Happy Meal toys<strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard. Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.</span></strong></span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time.</span></strong></span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."</span></strong></span></span></strong> <strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.</span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."</span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 zone. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a </span></strong>Toyota Prius<strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.</span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly </span></strong>sat<strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> in my </span></strong>rocking chair<strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> and covered up my legs with a blankey.</span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">The good news was that I had successfully found my way home.</span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterby, post: 335602, member: 7083"] The following doesn't mean we're old or even getting old...Just that we like a good story...yeah, right. [B]Subject: $5.37??[/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]$5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. [/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [B][FONT=Arial]I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully.[/FONT][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen?[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [B][FONT=Arial]I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I [/FONT][/B]sat[B][FONT=Arial] in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial]I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial]Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted![/FONT][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]What am I now? A toddler?[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [B][FONT=Arial]"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"[/FONT][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]I stared with utter disdain at the keys.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]I began to rationalize in my mind.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]"Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly![/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]It could happen to anyone!"[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]I turned and headed back to the truck.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]What now?[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]I checked my keys and tried another. [/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Still nothing.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror..[/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [B][FONT=Arial]Then, a few other objects came into focus. The [/FONT][/B]car seat[B][FONT=Arial] in the back seat. [/FONT][/B]Happy Meal toys[B][FONT=Arial] spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard. Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.[/FONT][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [B][FONT=Arial]I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time.[/FONT][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [B][FONT=Arial]Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."[/FONT][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [B][FONT=Arial]She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial]All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 zone. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a [/FONT][/B]Toyota Prius[B][FONT=Arial]. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial]As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly [/FONT][/B]sat[B][FONT=Arial] in my [/FONT][/B]rocking chair[B][FONT=Arial] and covered up my legs with a blankey.[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial]The good news was that I had successfully found my way home.[/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/B] [/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [/QUOTE]
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