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5 year old impulse issues..help!
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<blockquote data-quote="jewelsyyz" data-source="post: 5945" data-attributes="member: 3272"><p>Thanks for not sugar coating..I need facts and wasn't coming here to try to feel better. Your help is much appreciated! </p><p> I honestly don't know what his home life is like with his mother. I know that she has issues with being able to control him and has been at her wits end several times where she has called my SO to help. I believe she has her own serious issues with some form of manic-depressive disorder but I have only seen her in situations where she is dealing with my SO and they have a very bad relationship. She will have absolutely nothing to do with me so I can't ask her. If I had to guess I would say that this little guy is dumped on babysitters alot and his older brother is asked to deal with him most of the time but that comes from bits and pieces of what the boys say when they are here. I know that my SO is very good at keeping a routine and doesn't tolerate alot of his behavior, yet his punishments are rarely followed through and half the time they do no good because, as I said before, he really doesn't care what we do to him..or take away..etc. I will say that my SO has some pretty serious impulse control issues himself to this day (which started when he was younger with torturing animals and his younger brother)and to him it's just not really that big a deal..what he does..or what his son does. He thinks it's normal and he will grow out of it. I, on the other hand, have serious issues with a child who can look at a 4 week old kitten and think "it'd be cool to dunk that thing in the toilet and watch it struggle"..or who will go to a pumpkin patch and put his foot through the pumpkins.."why?!".. "because I felt like it"..ugh! All of our other children are caring individuals (his older son included) who would never wish harm on another living creature. I'm a paramedic and I spend my time helping others. None of us can understand their way of thinking. </p><p> Are there any good books out that I could leave lying around maybe? Should we be bothering to punish him or is positive reinforcement the only way? How do I handle it when he is walking around behind my 5 year old copying every move and noise he makes simply because he knows it will make my son cry? For the most part I stay in the background. I never discipline him unless he is in danger of hurting someone else.. but I'm not sure how to help and I don't want to pretend it's not happening. Any suggestions are welcomed more than you know..even the non-sugar coated kind! </p><p> Thanks again!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jewelsyyz, post: 5945, member: 3272"] Thanks for not sugar coating..I need facts and wasn't coming here to try to feel better. Your help is much appreciated! I honestly don't know what his home life is like with his mother. I know that she has issues with being able to control him and has been at her wits end several times where she has called my SO to help. I believe she has her own serious issues with some form of manic-depressive disorder but I have only seen her in situations where she is dealing with my SO and they have a very bad relationship. She will have absolutely nothing to do with me so I can't ask her. If I had to guess I would say that this little guy is dumped on babysitters alot and his older brother is asked to deal with him most of the time but that comes from bits and pieces of what the boys say when they are here. I know that my SO is very good at keeping a routine and doesn't tolerate alot of his behavior, yet his punishments are rarely followed through and half the time they do no good because, as I said before, he really doesn't care what we do to him..or take away..etc. I will say that my SO has some pretty serious impulse control issues himself to this day (which started when he was younger with torturing animals and his younger brother)and to him it's just not really that big a deal..what he does..or what his son does. He thinks it's normal and he will grow out of it. I, on the other hand, have serious issues with a child who can look at a 4 week old kitten and think "it'd be cool to dunk that thing in the toilet and watch it struggle"..or who will go to a pumpkin patch and put his foot through the pumpkins.."why?!".. "because I felt like it"..ugh! All of our other children are caring individuals (his older son included) who would never wish harm on another living creature. I'm a paramedic and I spend my time helping others. None of us can understand their way of thinking. Are there any good books out that I could leave lying around maybe? Should we be bothering to punish him or is positive reinforcement the only way? How do I handle it when he is walking around behind my 5 year old copying every move and noise he makes simply because he knows it will make my son cry? For the most part I stay in the background. I never discipline him unless he is in danger of hurting someone else.. but I'm not sure how to help and I don't want to pretend it's not happening. Any suggestions are welcomed more than you know..even the non-sugar coated kind! Thanks again! [/QUOTE]
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