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5 yr old behavioral issues
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<blockquote data-quote="Mayapple5" data-source="post: 251935" data-attributes="member: 6223"><p>I just finished reading a book called <em>Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control. </em>It's<em> a Love-based approach to helping children with severe behaviors. </em>Basically it suggests we look at the child instead of the behavior. most of their behavior is fear based. If we can somehow figure out what they are afraid of then we can understand their behavior and help them. </p><p> </p><p>I have been doing time-in instead of time out and that has made a world of difference. daughter is so afraid of being alone, so when she is with me, she feels safe and I feel better knowing where she is and what she is doing.</p><p> </p><p>She used to have melt downs in the store. We tried the suggestions in the book and took her to the store with the only intent of walking in, going down the othe end of Wal-Mart and back out. I held her hand, and before hand I explained to her what we were going to do and that we weren't going to buy her anything, that I wasn't going to buy anything and that neither one of us was going to touch anything! The next time I bought us both a little something. And each time she got better and better about staying with me and not touching and not being loud or throwing a tantrum. It is such a joy to be able to go into a store now and have a happy "normal" daughter along. </p><p> </p><p>I feel this approach works like a charm, look at where the behavior is coming from and alleviate the fear then you can focus on teaching them to trust you and stay more calm.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mayapple5, post: 251935, member: 6223"] I just finished reading a book called [I]Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control. [/I]It's[I] a Love-based approach to helping children with severe behaviors. [/I]Basically it suggests we look at the child instead of the behavior. most of their behavior is fear based. If we can somehow figure out what they are afraid of then we can understand their behavior and help them. I have been doing time-in instead of time out and that has made a world of difference. daughter is so afraid of being alone, so when she is with me, she feels safe and I feel better knowing where she is and what she is doing. She used to have melt downs in the store. We tried the suggestions in the book and took her to the store with the only intent of walking in, going down the othe end of Wal-Mart and back out. I held her hand, and before hand I explained to her what we were going to do and that we weren't going to buy her anything, that I wasn't going to buy anything and that neither one of us was going to touch anything! The next time I bought us both a little something. And each time she got better and better about staying with me and not touching and not being loud or throwing a tantrum. It is such a joy to be able to go into a store now and have a happy "normal" daughter along. I feel this approach works like a charm, look at where the behavior is coming from and alleviate the fear then you can focus on teaching them to trust you and stay more calm. [/QUOTE]
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