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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 625514" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My drama group does lots of plays in assisted living homes, which is why I changed my mind about them. Even the less expensive ones are really nice and clean and the residents seem happy and there are tons of activities even for those with disabilities and they socialize more than they would at home.Does Grandpa have the chance to talk to anyone in his age bracket? What does he do all day? Can he go to activities? What about grandma?</p><p></p><p>Family and friends (I consider both equal) should be there in hard times, but unless you are a registered nurse, how can you possibly raise your kids and make sure grandpa is ok and also take care of grandma all at the same time? Why do you think it is a bad thing to seek outside help? Why do you think you have to give in to everything your grandfather wants you to do? Heck, my dad is 90 and I don't do everything he wishes I'd do. Fortunately, he is in good health, but if he was not, he would go to a good home and we would all make sure we visited him a lot and called (maybe rotated) and he would get much better care than with a klutz like me. I would probably drop him. And I don't have any medical training. Note: Grandpa CHOOSES not to use his Life Alert. That is selfish on HIS part. What's the deal with that???? He expects you to do everything and never leave him? You are younger and deserve a life too, hon. Grandpa needs to be told there is no option about Life Alert use if he wants things to remain the same...at least I think so (I know I'm not you) <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Why does he have to be happy with you? This isn't for us, this is for you. Why does it matter to you so much? You can NOT please everyone, even those considered family. </p><p></p><p>It can't be that good for his health with your kids there. And it can't be that good for your kids for all of them there. I don't know...I think therapy would be good for you. I used to be the helper person in the family and everyone walked all over me. And, trust me, nobody was grateful for the help I gave them. They would actually be more prone to be mean or abusive to me. Sometime in my 40's I woke up or I'd probably be doing what you're doing now and I wouldn't have any life of my own at all. Am I selfish? A little. Is that bad? It depends on who you ask. A person who wants everything from you is going to think it's bad. I believe a healthy person would not think it is healthy to care about yourself first in some of life. I am more of a bleeding heart caregiver type than anything, but I do set boundaries these days.</p><p></p><p>As for the neighbor, I agree with Susie. He was trying to make you feel bad. You know what? You can not and never will please everyone and how is this his business anyway? I feel like we here can voice our opinions to one another because hopefully we all know that we care about one another. But does this man really care about you?</p><p></p><p>I have learned to be cautious about who I let into my world. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing or neutral thing, but I don't allow people into my real world very lightly, which is maybe why I vent so much here. It's safer. Nobody really knows who I am.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and sorry you are struggling right now. Be good to you <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 625514, member: 1550"] My drama group does lots of plays in assisted living homes, which is why I changed my mind about them. Even the less expensive ones are really nice and clean and the residents seem happy and there are tons of activities even for those with disabilities and they socialize more than they would at home.Does Grandpa have the chance to talk to anyone in his age bracket? What does he do all day? Can he go to activities? What about grandma? Family and friends (I consider both equal) should be there in hard times, but unless you are a registered nurse, how can you possibly raise your kids and make sure grandpa is ok and also take care of grandma all at the same time? Why do you think it is a bad thing to seek outside help? Why do you think you have to give in to everything your grandfather wants you to do? Heck, my dad is 90 and I don't do everything he wishes I'd do. Fortunately, he is in good health, but if he was not, he would go to a good home and we would all make sure we visited him a lot and called (maybe rotated) and he would get much better care than with a klutz like me. I would probably drop him. And I don't have any medical training. Note: Grandpa CHOOSES not to use his Life Alert. That is selfish on HIS part. What's the deal with that???? He expects you to do everything and never leave him? You are younger and deserve a life too, hon. Grandpa needs to be told there is no option about Life Alert use if he wants things to remain the same...at least I think so (I know I'm not you) :) Why does he have to be happy with you? This isn't for us, this is for you. Why does it matter to you so much? You can NOT please everyone, even those considered family. It can't be that good for his health with your kids there. And it can't be that good for your kids for all of them there. I don't know...I think therapy would be good for you. I used to be the helper person in the family and everyone walked all over me. And, trust me, nobody was grateful for the help I gave them. They would actually be more prone to be mean or abusive to me. Sometime in my 40's I woke up or I'd probably be doing what you're doing now and I wouldn't have any life of my own at all. Am I selfish? A little. Is that bad? It depends on who you ask. A person who wants everything from you is going to think it's bad. I believe a healthy person would not think it is healthy to care about yourself first in some of life. I am more of a bleeding heart caregiver type than anything, but I do set boundaries these days. As for the neighbor, I agree with Susie. He was trying to make you feel bad. You know what? You can not and never will please everyone and how is this his business anyway? I feel like we here can voice our opinions to one another because hopefully we all know that we care about one another. But does this man really care about you? I have learned to be cautious about who I let into my world. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing or neutral thing, but I don't allow people into my real world very lightly, which is maybe why I vent so much here. It's safer. Nobody really knows who I am. Hugs and sorry you are struggling right now. Be good to you :) [/QUOTE]
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