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64,000 dollar question
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<blockquote data-quote="Ktllc" data-source="post: 438086" data-attributes="member: 11847"><p>Malika, your son sounds much like me when it comes to being rebelious to discipline. What our therapist suggested is a cool down spot when he gets in that mood. It is NOT a punishment, but a nice comfy place where he will learn to relax, calm down and reflect on things. We are just in the process of teaching him but I like the idea. I do not force him to go but suggest it frequently when I feel he needs it. Does your son goes to therapy? If he does not, it might worth trying. You and him could learn different techniques. </p><p>As far as consequences, I changed a little bit: if he does not eat what's being served there is no desert. I don't fuss about it, simply tell him it his choice "eat and have desert or don't eat and get off the table and go play". The key is to stay calm yourself (I'm still working on that). Consequences can be "natural" and not punitive: he makes a mess, he then needs to clean up (at age 4, more like make a good effort at cleaning) and just stay calm. </p><p>If he use inappropriate language, could you remove him from the sitaution when you are in public? Maybe, end the play date and explain he needs to cool down?</p><p>The therapist also suggested the "no, yes, yes" technique: no you can't do x but yes you can do y and z. Maybe you could apply that technique to his language and give him som alternate words he could use to express himself.</p><p>I'm sure others will come up with different idea.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ktllc, post: 438086, member: 11847"] Malika, your son sounds much like me when it comes to being rebelious to discipline. What our therapist suggested is a cool down spot when he gets in that mood. It is NOT a punishment, but a nice comfy place where he will learn to relax, calm down and reflect on things. We are just in the process of teaching him but I like the idea. I do not force him to go but suggest it frequently when I feel he needs it. Does your son goes to therapy? If he does not, it might worth trying. You and him could learn different techniques. As far as consequences, I changed a little bit: if he does not eat what's being served there is no desert. I don't fuss about it, simply tell him it his choice "eat and have desert or don't eat and get off the table and go play". The key is to stay calm yourself (I'm still working on that). Consequences can be "natural" and not punitive: he makes a mess, he then needs to clean up (at age 4, more like make a good effort at cleaning) and just stay calm. If he use inappropriate language, could you remove him from the sitaution when you are in public? Maybe, end the play date and explain he needs to cool down? The therapist also suggested the "no, yes, yes" technique: no you can't do x but yes you can do y and z. Maybe you could apply that technique to his language and give him som alternate words he could use to express himself. I'm sure others will come up with different idea. [/QUOTE]
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