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6th grade difficult child sucking thumb
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 389106" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I don't believe that there is any way to force someone not to do this. It is a method of self soothing that some people use for many years. My first roommate in college sucked her thumb every night. Completely denied doing it, did NOT believe she did it, thought that the picture a friend took of her asleep with her thumb in her mouth was either created on a computer (this was before photoshop was widely used and when there were few computer labs even at major universities - and NO personal computers except for TRS80s and Commodore 64s) or her friend moved her that way for the picture. </p><p> </p><p>Jessie sucked her middle fingers for years and years. Still does when she is exhausted or feels yucky. Nothing negative reduces it. My mom climbed her case for a while, even when we didn't live with them. At one point Jess refused to speak to my mom or go to her house for any reason because my mom got so forceful and negative about it. The more pressure was applied the more Jess needed to do it. </p><p> </p><p>We heard all the stories from the dentist about her teeth. For a while it looked like it was hurting her teeth. Then we had a tooth pulled that wouldn't come out, the adult tooth moved where it needed to be all by itself and the front teeth stopped sticking out. So it was NOT the sucking that caused it, though it CAN do that. </p><p> </p><p>The main reason that I did NOT try to force Jess to stop is that she will find some other way to self soothe. I know a LOT of people who started smoking because they had a strong need for oral stimulation. One friend has openly said that her mom forced her to not suck her thumb so she moved to hard candy. Then she gained weight. Her mom then refused to let her have candy. She still had the need for something in her mouth and her mother thought toothpick chewing was crass and "low class". So she moved to smoking at about age 13. </p><p> </p><p>Jess has responded well to gentle reminders because she often starts sucking her fingers with-o really knowing she is doing it. As a little one she would snuggle down with her blankie and her fingers. Gma's brilliant idea was to get rid of the blankie and the sucking would go away too. NOT the way to go. Jess goes through a LOT of blankies, mostly because she doesn't care much about the fabric as long as it has a silky edging on it and isn't too heavy. So the lighter fabric gets holes. We finally got Gma to see that really BAD things could subsitute for the finger sucking, so now Gma makes blankies for jess about ever 6-8 months. Jess wraps her blanke AROUND the hand she sucks on so she cannot get the fingers in her mouth. If we see her start to suck we gently say "fingers" and NOTHING more. She usually apologizes out loud, but it is aimed at herself. </p><p> </p><p>IF you know a teacher who is close to the young man, you might ask about it. Otherwise maybe have some hard candy available and let him have a piece (or a lollipop) when you notice he is sucking. It is very much a sensory need and it will find a way to be filled regardless. It is NOT going to disappear anymore than his thumb is, so finding a substitute he can use would help. The sp ed teacher and his reg teacher might consider having a jar of hard candies available for all the kids, so that this one doesn't feel singled out. </p><p> </p><p>It is really sweet of you to care about this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 389106, member: 1233"] I don't believe that there is any way to force someone not to do this. It is a method of self soothing that some people use for many years. My first roommate in college sucked her thumb every night. Completely denied doing it, did NOT believe she did it, thought that the picture a friend took of her asleep with her thumb in her mouth was either created on a computer (this was before photoshop was widely used and when there were few computer labs even at major universities - and NO personal computers except for TRS80s and Commodore 64s) or her friend moved her that way for the picture. Jessie sucked her middle fingers for years and years. Still does when she is exhausted or feels yucky. Nothing negative reduces it. My mom climbed her case for a while, even when we didn't live with them. At one point Jess refused to speak to my mom or go to her house for any reason because my mom got so forceful and negative about it. The more pressure was applied the more Jess needed to do it. We heard all the stories from the dentist about her teeth. For a while it looked like it was hurting her teeth. Then we had a tooth pulled that wouldn't come out, the adult tooth moved where it needed to be all by itself and the front teeth stopped sticking out. So it was NOT the sucking that caused it, though it CAN do that. The main reason that I did NOT try to force Jess to stop is that she will find some other way to self soothe. I know a LOT of people who started smoking because they had a strong need for oral stimulation. One friend has openly said that her mom forced her to not suck her thumb so she moved to hard candy. Then she gained weight. Her mom then refused to let her have candy. She still had the need for something in her mouth and her mother thought toothpick chewing was crass and "low class". So she moved to smoking at about age 13. Jess has responded well to gentle reminders because she often starts sucking her fingers with-o really knowing she is doing it. As a little one she would snuggle down with her blankie and her fingers. Gma's brilliant idea was to get rid of the blankie and the sucking would go away too. NOT the way to go. Jess goes through a LOT of blankies, mostly because she doesn't care much about the fabric as long as it has a silky edging on it and isn't too heavy. So the lighter fabric gets holes. We finally got Gma to see that really BAD things could subsitute for the finger sucking, so now Gma makes blankies for jess about ever 6-8 months. Jess wraps her blanke AROUND the hand she sucks on so she cannot get the fingers in her mouth. If we see her start to suck we gently say "fingers" and NOTHING more. She usually apologizes out loud, but it is aimed at herself. IF you know a teacher who is close to the young man, you might ask about it. Otherwise maybe have some hard candy available and let him have a piece (or a lollipop) when you notice he is sucking. It is very much a sensory need and it will find a way to be filled regardless. It is NOT going to disappear anymore than his thumb is, so finding a substitute he can use would help. The sp ed teacher and his reg teacher might consider having a jar of hard candies available for all the kids, so that this one doesn't feel singled out. It is really sweet of you to care about this. [/QUOTE]
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