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General Parenting
6yo step-son with ADHD and ODD..
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<blockquote data-quote="TeDo" data-source="post: 506870"><p>My first recommendation is to read the books The Explosive Child by Ross Greene and What Your Explosive Child Is Trying To Tell You by Dr. Doug Riley. They will help you think "differently" about the cause of the behavior. Ross Greene says, and most of us agree, "kids do well if they CAN" not the typical kids do well if they want to. This thinking goes against everything most of us are taught and led to believe. It is a whole different way of thinking. I will tell you that reading Greene's book is what got me to trying to figure out what was REALLY going on.</p><p></p><p>Has he ever had a neuropsychological evaluation? THAT is where I would go. The one we had done was right on the money. What EVERYONE, including me, was interpreting as intentionally defiant actually turned out to be MANY other things instead. ODD is not a helpful diagnosis. It simply describes the behavior but does not tell you WHY they act this way. The only way to fix a problem is to know WHY it's happening in the first place.</p><p></p><p>It might be some sort of an attachment issue because of the changing households and Dad being gone. It could also be a "thinking" or "processing" issue as it is in our case. It could be that he really lacks the skills to verbalize and deal with his feelings in the "right" way so he acts in a way that releases his frustration. Some medications will also cause these types of behaviors. difficult child 1 has STRONG violence reactions to certain medications. He does well on them for a period of time and then things go downhill fast and furious. Stop the medication and it went away. If he really doesn't have the diagnosis's they are treating, the medications can do more harm than good in some cases.</p><p></p><p>{{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} to you both. Just try to keep in mind HE is probably as confused and frustrated as you are but doesn't know why or what to do about it.</p><p></p><p>Welcome to our little corner of the world. If you stick around, you will find amazing support and phenominal advice from parents who have been there done that and then some.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TeDo, post: 506870"] My first recommendation is to read the books The Explosive Child by Ross Greene and What Your Explosive Child Is Trying To Tell You by Dr. Doug Riley. They will help you think "differently" about the cause of the behavior. Ross Greene says, and most of us agree, "kids do well if they CAN" not the typical kids do well if they want to. This thinking goes against everything most of us are taught and led to believe. It is a whole different way of thinking. I will tell you that reading Greene's book is what got me to trying to figure out what was REALLY going on. Has he ever had a neuropsychological evaluation? THAT is where I would go. The one we had done was right on the money. What EVERYONE, including me, was interpreting as intentionally defiant actually turned out to be MANY other things instead. ODD is not a helpful diagnosis. It simply describes the behavior but does not tell you WHY they act this way. The only way to fix a problem is to know WHY it's happening in the first place. It might be some sort of an attachment issue because of the changing households and Dad being gone. It could also be a "thinking" or "processing" issue as it is in our case. It could be that he really lacks the skills to verbalize and deal with his feelings in the "right" way so he acts in a way that releases his frustration. Some medications will also cause these types of behaviors. difficult child 1 has STRONG violence reactions to certain medications. He does well on them for a period of time and then things go downhill fast and furious. Stop the medication and it went away. If he really doesn't have the diagnosis's they are treating, the medications can do more harm than good in some cases. {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} to you both. Just try to keep in mind HE is probably as confused and frustrated as you are but doesn't know why or what to do about it. Welcome to our little corner of the world. If you stick around, you will find amazing support and phenominal advice from parents who have been there done that and then some. [/QUOTE]
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6yo step-son with ADHD and ODD..
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