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8 year old hates me and my new life, boyfriend etc
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 110210" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi and welcome, </p><p></p><p>A lot of our kids are totally able to hold themselves together in school and then explode at home. You say she's not exploding around anyone but you - and by all accounts you sound guilty about enjoying a life you never had (first - knock that off) YOU have a right to be happy. That means you are an adult and you should be able to have some free time alone with just your kids. You work three jobs - I'm sure to make ends meet - and not to abandon them. Right now - I would guess that your daughter rages with you because YOU will put up with it. Let me rephrase that...Not that you tolerate this type of behavior - but with you she can scream, yell, throw, hit, break, and get "IT" out of her system and you WILL BE THERE FOR HER despite whatever comes along. </p><p></p><p>18 months or so isnt' time enough to heal a child's heart from divorce and separation. And just because your son was able to adapt - doesn't mean your daughter has. Eventually yes, she should be able to accept the changes - but know that she may NEVER. Introducing a boyfriend - after almost 1 1/2 years - yeah okay. But she may feel that while she's at Dad's YOU (who have so little time) are spending it with THEM - and any time you spend with anyone but her at this point = treason in her mind. </p><p>And why doesn't daddy dearest get the fallout? ((Shrug)) who knows. My x was abusive and cruel beyond words to my son - and yet I still think there is a score to be settled in his mind with biomoron. Some kids of divorce feel they are to blame. And yes, I'm sure you sat them down (you and x) and said "This is just not a loving home and while we love you both - Mom and Dad are not able to live under the same roof." </p><p></p><p>I think your daughter is a very frustrated, angry little girl who isn't old enough to have those fantastic coping skills we learn as we all grow older to help us. It sounds like she's wanting to vent her frustrations - and she can't do it at Daddy's because then maybe he would never have her back, and she wants to be sure he is in the picture, so she comes to you and BLOWS her top - and then she's able to deal with the school, daddys, and life in general )or so she thinks. </p><p></p><p>I'd get her to a psychologist after a good psychiatrist and FYI it will be great help to WRITE THIS OUT so you won't forget when you are in his office. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 110210, member: 4964"] Hi and welcome, A lot of our kids are totally able to hold themselves together in school and then explode at home. You say she's not exploding around anyone but you - and by all accounts you sound guilty about enjoying a life you never had (first - knock that off) YOU have a right to be happy. That means you are an adult and you should be able to have some free time alone with just your kids. You work three jobs - I'm sure to make ends meet - and not to abandon them. Right now - I would guess that your daughter rages with you because YOU will put up with it. Let me rephrase that...Not that you tolerate this type of behavior - but with you she can scream, yell, throw, hit, break, and get "IT" out of her system and you WILL BE THERE FOR HER despite whatever comes along. 18 months or so isnt' time enough to heal a child's heart from divorce and separation. And just because your son was able to adapt - doesn't mean your daughter has. Eventually yes, she should be able to accept the changes - but know that she may NEVER. Introducing a boyfriend - after almost 1 1/2 years - yeah okay. But she may feel that while she's at Dad's YOU (who have so little time) are spending it with THEM - and any time you spend with anyone but her at this point = treason in her mind. And why doesn't daddy dearest get the fallout? ((Shrug)) who knows. My x was abusive and cruel beyond words to my son - and yet I still think there is a score to be settled in his mind with biomoron. Some kids of divorce feel they are to blame. And yes, I'm sure you sat them down (you and x) and said "This is just not a loving home and while we love you both - Mom and Dad are not able to live under the same roof." I think your daughter is a very frustrated, angry little girl who isn't old enough to have those fantastic coping skills we learn as we all grow older to help us. It sounds like she's wanting to vent her frustrations - and she can't do it at Daddy's because then maybe he would never have her back, and she wants to be sure he is in the picture, so she comes to you and BLOWS her top - and then she's able to deal with the school, daddys, and life in general )or so she thinks. I'd get her to a psychologist after a good psychiatrist and FYI it will be great help to WRITE THIS OUT so you won't forget when you are in his office. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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