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8 year old hates me and my new life, boyfriend etc
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 110877"><p>I looked back and couldn't find your daughter's age, but had it in my mind as 8? Not sure where that came from, but I'm going with it. </p><p></p><p>I'm sure she has internalized some things. Also, the outbursts you are seeing is probably the externalized part, too. Depression in kids looks different than what you would expect to see in an adult. Kids that age lack the insight to be able to verbalize what they are feeling. To them, they are just feeling all these things and don't know what they mean or what to do with them and it becomes overwhelming, as well as incredibly frustrating. According to our therapist, that function of the brain (insight) doesn't really develop until around 10-11 or sometimes older.</p><p></p><p>I was the target for my son, too. And I know it's because he knew I loved him unconditionally. I was 'safe'. His dad's love while it may not be unconditional, has always felt like it came with strings attached. (We are still dealing with that and my son is now 16.) And Nana (my mom) was always his reprieve so he could go there to get away from it all. At first. That didn't last forever either.</p><p></p><p>I don't want to get stuck on just one thing - depression. I think it's important to consider a lot of possibilities and to educate ourselves so that when psychiatrists start throwing out terminology we're not completely lost. I was just using depression as an example of how what we expect to see can look very different in a child than in an adult. And depression is something I'm intimately familiar with, as having fought with it myself as well as my 2 children - although with difficult child it's more of a secondary issue - so that's why I chose it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 110877"] I looked back and couldn't find your daughter's age, but had it in my mind as 8? Not sure where that came from, but I'm going with it. I'm sure she has internalized some things. Also, the outbursts you are seeing is probably the externalized part, too. Depression in kids looks different than what you would expect to see in an adult. Kids that age lack the insight to be able to verbalize what they are feeling. To them, they are just feeling all these things and don't know what they mean or what to do with them and it becomes overwhelming, as well as incredibly frustrating. According to our therapist, that function of the brain (insight) doesn't really develop until around 10-11 or sometimes older. I was the target for my son, too. And I know it's because he knew I loved him unconditionally. I was 'safe'. His dad's love while it may not be unconditional, has always felt like it came with strings attached. (We are still dealing with that and my son is now 16.) And Nana (my mom) was always his reprieve so he could go there to get away from it all. At first. That didn't last forever either. I don't want to get stuck on just one thing - depression. I think it's important to consider a lot of possibilities and to educate ourselves so that when psychiatrists start throwing out terminology we're not completely lost. I was just using depression as an example of how what we expect to see can look very different in a child than in an adult. And depression is something I'm intimately familiar with, as having fought with it myself as well as my 2 children - although with difficult child it's more of a secondary issue - so that's why I chose it. [/QUOTE]
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