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8 year old violent only at home? Daily horror show
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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 420513" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>Hi Rose and welcome to the site!</p><p></p><p>We understand. </p><p></p><p>There are usually more questions for new posters than anything else - but I feel your first post is more a sharing of frustration than a cry for help.</p><p></p><p>I can tell you that finding my way here when my son was 7 was like a miracle - I didn't know anyone who had a Jeckle/Hyde child like mine. To know that I was not alone, that other parents understood my frustration, sadness, and disappointment was an instant comfort to my hurting soul. Like you, I love my son with all my heart and hurt so much. For me, it was raging at school and not at home.</p><p></p><p>It took "a village" to begin to turn things around for him. A school with a fabulous Special Education department, a wonderful therapist, a capable psychiatrist, behavior modification, a loving big sister, this community of warrior parents, understanding teachers, proper medication, and a total time, energy and heart commitment by me to put his needs number one for a while. That meant a total structured environment at home where a time schedule was strictly adhered to and his needs were placed first until we got a handle on things. </p><p></p><p>I would offer you a couple suggestions along with a few questions....</p><p></p><p>I would first begin to keep a journal of her behaviors. What appears to set her off, how long the incident lasts, what words are said and how you (or another family member) react to her behavior and what effect that reactions appears to have. If you can, audio or video tape a couple of her rages. This could be very useful for future doctor appointments. So often our children present a totally different front to caregivers. This helps to build a history and often we can being to see a pattern or triggers. </p><p></p><p>I would also read "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It's kinda a mandatory read around here. It gives you a little insight into how differently our difficult children are wired and some suggestions for changing the outcomes.</p><p></p><p>Is there any history of mental or emotional illness in either family tree? Genetics often play an important role. Anything in her early development that was traumatic or noteworthy?</p><p></p><p>Do you know any other parents who struggle with challenging children? I ask because that would be a great start for getting a referral to a good doctor. I think your daughter needs a really complete evaluation. You could go to your local children's hospital - or if you have a local teaching hospital (university medical ctr), contact their psychiatric dept. There is definitely something within your daughter that she is unable to handle. When my son was going through the worst of his issues, I always tried to keep uppermost in mind that as awful as it was for me, I couldn't imagine what it was like to live as him. I witnessed it, but he lived it. There were things he just was not equipped to handle and, as his parent, I had an obligation to get to the bottom of it!</p><p></p><p>It is clear the love you have for your daughter. It is good that you have found us. Glad to have you onboard!</p><p></p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 420513, member: 805"] Hi Rose and welcome to the site! We understand. There are usually more questions for new posters than anything else - but I feel your first post is more a sharing of frustration than a cry for help. I can tell you that finding my way here when my son was 7 was like a miracle - I didn't know anyone who had a Jeckle/Hyde child like mine. To know that I was not alone, that other parents understood my frustration, sadness, and disappointment was an instant comfort to my hurting soul. Like you, I love my son with all my heart and hurt so much. For me, it was raging at school and not at home. It took "a village" to begin to turn things around for him. A school with a fabulous Special Education department, a wonderful therapist, a capable psychiatrist, behavior modification, a loving big sister, this community of warrior parents, understanding teachers, proper medication, and a total time, energy and heart commitment by me to put his needs number one for a while. That meant a total structured environment at home where a time schedule was strictly adhered to and his needs were placed first until we got a handle on things. I would offer you a couple suggestions along with a few questions.... I would first begin to keep a journal of her behaviors. What appears to set her off, how long the incident lasts, what words are said and how you (or another family member) react to her behavior and what effect that reactions appears to have. If you can, audio or video tape a couple of her rages. This could be very useful for future doctor appointments. So often our children present a totally different front to caregivers. This helps to build a history and often we can being to see a pattern or triggers. I would also read "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It's kinda a mandatory read around here. It gives you a little insight into how differently our difficult children are wired and some suggestions for changing the outcomes. Is there any history of mental or emotional illness in either family tree? Genetics often play an important role. Anything in her early development that was traumatic or noteworthy? Do you know any other parents who struggle with challenging children? I ask because that would be a great start for getting a referral to a good doctor. I think your daughter needs a really complete evaluation. You could go to your local children's hospital - or if you have a local teaching hospital (university medical ctr), contact their psychiatric dept. There is definitely something within your daughter that she is unable to handle. When my son was going through the worst of his issues, I always tried to keep uppermost in mind that as awful as it was for me, I couldn't imagine what it was like to live as him. I witnessed it, but he lived it. There were things he just was not equipped to handle and, as his parent, I had an obligation to get to the bottom of it! It is clear the love you have for your daughter. It is good that you have found us. Glad to have you onboard! Sharon [/QUOTE]
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