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8 yr old difficult child with many issues...
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<blockquote data-quote="nana3" data-source="post: 588481"><p>Ever since he's been very young he has to have things in "his order", he rearranges furniture, moves everything on cabinets and shelves, lines toys up in line according to size, things like that.</p><p></p><p> We are learning quite a bit about his life in MN and I'm afraid it was not good at all. While mom and difficult child 2 were here, they were staying with her mom and after she left, I've had several long conversations with difficult child 2's other grandma. She said what she saw while they were staying with her was abuse but by the time she realized what all was happening, mom had decided to relinquish difficult child to my son so she kept quiet. She said she knew difficult child needed to get away from mom and that the best thing was for her to do was leave him with his dad. She has told of seeing mom's boyfriend making difficult child run in place for 10 minutes or more with his back against the wall, then dropping down to do pushups then back to running in place. The day he moved in with us I asked difficult child where he managed to get a bruise on the middle of his forehead - difficult child couldn't remember. His grandmother asked me if I had seen the bruise and I said yes but he didn't know where it came from. She says on one of those run in place and drop to do pushups difficult child was so tired he kept hitting his head on the floor. This punishment was just one of many we have found that was used because difficult child would make bad grades in school. Another one, as soon as difficult child came home from school, he was made to kneel down in front of a wall in the corner and read a book for over an hour at a time. If he said anything the time was extended. He was forced to eat what was put in front of him for supper and if not eaten, it was given to him cold out of the fridge for breakfast the next morning. I know, sometimes ppl may use something like that on their own kids, but we are talking about putting very large portions of food on the plate and if he could not get it all down, it became breakfast. </p><p></p><p>*difficult child is absolutely fascinated with the kitchen and all that is in there. After a few times of answering a hundred questions while making supper I said to him, didn't you help your mom or her boyfriend cook? He said only once, then he was not allowed in the kitchen again. He is asking me questions about what a whisk is, wants to know what a mixer is, why do you have to wash your hands if you are cooking and touching food. I have made the remark to my husband more than once in the last few weeks, it is almost like he's been under a rock somewhere.</p><p></p><p>I was so hoping that I was not looking at Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) but I'm really afraid that might be what we have. When mom took difficult child to MN, she took him away from everything he knew. Away from his family, friends, toys, house, everything. I think he resents the fire out of her for doing this and blames her. Then keeping him away from everyone for all of these years. Now that he is here, he acts like a kid on Christmas Eve all the time. He cannot touch enough stuff, ask enough questions it is really sad. Add into this mix I think he may have Aspie traits with or without Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). We are expecting his insurance information as we speak and one of the first appts will be with new pediatrician and to have a neuropsy evaluation. </p><p></p><p> The first time we saw him when he was back, I wanted to cry. He was so medicated he could hardly hold his eyes open. He spoke very little, was so withdrawn. From past experience with Adderall, I know that's the last thing a child that is only in the 3rd % of his age growth chart thing needs. We tapered off and the child was like night and day. He is all over the place now, talks non stop, rearranges furniture if I don't tell him specifically every day not to touch it. He rearranges my silverware drawer, is into every closet and drawer.</p><p></p><p>We have a meeting with the school teacher tomorrow, should be interesting. He constantly wants to clean her desk because it's messy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nana3, post: 588481"] Ever since he's been very young he has to have things in "his order", he rearranges furniture, moves everything on cabinets and shelves, lines toys up in line according to size, things like that. We are learning quite a bit about his life in MN and I'm afraid it was not good at all. While mom and difficult child 2 were here, they were staying with her mom and after she left, I've had several long conversations with difficult child 2's other grandma. She said what she saw while they were staying with her was abuse but by the time she realized what all was happening, mom had decided to relinquish difficult child to my son so she kept quiet. She said she knew difficult child needed to get away from mom and that the best thing was for her to do was leave him with his dad. She has told of seeing mom's boyfriend making difficult child run in place for 10 minutes or more with his back against the wall, then dropping down to do pushups then back to running in place. The day he moved in with us I asked difficult child where he managed to get a bruise on the middle of his forehead - difficult child couldn't remember. His grandmother asked me if I had seen the bruise and I said yes but he didn't know where it came from. She says on one of those run in place and drop to do pushups difficult child was so tired he kept hitting his head on the floor. This punishment was just one of many we have found that was used because difficult child would make bad grades in school. Another one, as soon as difficult child came home from school, he was made to kneel down in front of a wall in the corner and read a book for over an hour at a time. If he said anything the time was extended. He was forced to eat what was put in front of him for supper and if not eaten, it was given to him cold out of the fridge for breakfast the next morning. I know, sometimes ppl may use something like that on their own kids, but we are talking about putting very large portions of food on the plate and if he could not get it all down, it became breakfast. *difficult child is absolutely fascinated with the kitchen and all that is in there. After a few times of answering a hundred questions while making supper I said to him, didn't you help your mom or her boyfriend cook? He said only once, then he was not allowed in the kitchen again. He is asking me questions about what a whisk is, wants to know what a mixer is, why do you have to wash your hands if you are cooking and touching food. I have made the remark to my husband more than once in the last few weeks, it is almost like he's been under a rock somewhere. I was so hoping that I was not looking at Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) but I'm really afraid that might be what we have. When mom took difficult child to MN, she took him away from everything he knew. Away from his family, friends, toys, house, everything. I think he resents the fire out of her for doing this and blames her. Then keeping him away from everyone for all of these years. Now that he is here, he acts like a kid on Christmas Eve all the time. He cannot touch enough stuff, ask enough questions it is really sad. Add into this mix I think he may have Aspie traits with or without Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). We are expecting his insurance information as we speak and one of the first appts will be with new pediatrician and to have a neuropsy evaluation. The first time we saw him when he was back, I wanted to cry. He was so medicated he could hardly hold his eyes open. He spoke very little, was so withdrawn. From past experience with Adderall, I know that's the last thing a child that is only in the 3rd % of his age growth chart thing needs. We tapered off and the child was like night and day. He is all over the place now, talks non stop, rearranges furniture if I don't tell him specifically every day not to touch it. He rearranges my silverware drawer, is into every closet and drawer. We have a meeting with the school teacher tomorrow, should be interesting. He constantly wants to clean her desk because it's messy. [/QUOTE]
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