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Parent Emeritus
A big step for difficult child and me
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 625749" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Yes. This is exactly how it is until we finally are able to stop. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>SO says difficult child lives on the jagged edge. That is what he likes. That is where he wants to be. You can hear in his voice the rush, the high, the jolt he gets when he's trying to get out of something. He's flying high. He's pushing and pulling and manipulating and directing and I think he absolutely loves it. He is in his prime when that is happening. And if this is how he really wants to live, boring old everyday life, getting up, going to work, patting the dog, cooking supper and washing clothes will never cut it for him. This is a story of facing reality, RE, and it helps me to read what you wrote. I am going to read it again and again---from a few days ago until today. The up and the down and the happiness you felt seeing her and the acceptance you are able to achieve right now. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>What a gift. I want to completely set difficult child free. I want him to be free of me. And me of him. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Release her to the Universe. That is what you have done, RE. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is acceptance. Forgiveness for them and for ourselves. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Every time, RE, once I get over the shock and the grief, this is where I land. I decided last week to stop resisting the facts. He is in jail. Relax into this time. He is somewhere. He is not "out there." This is a respite for me, and I am going to claim it. There is time enough, later, for something different. Right now is all we have. </p><p></p><p>Your difficult child is somewhere now RE. I know you had hoped for something different. But she has done what she has chosen to do. There can be no mistaking that. In our society, there are rules and if they are broken, there are consequences. Maybe our difficult children are just not meant for this world today. I don't know.</p><p></p><p>I am so thankful for you and for your example RE. What a six-day ride you have been on, and I am so glad I have been privileged to view it from here. Thank you. Blessings and peace to you today. I hope you can enjoy this minute, this evening, and relax into it, RE.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 625749, member: 17542"] Yes. This is exactly how it is until we finally are able to stop. SO says difficult child lives on the jagged edge. That is what he likes. That is where he wants to be. You can hear in his voice the rush, the high, the jolt he gets when he's trying to get out of something. He's flying high. He's pushing and pulling and manipulating and directing and I think he absolutely loves it. He is in his prime when that is happening. And if this is how he really wants to live, boring old everyday life, getting up, going to work, patting the dog, cooking supper and washing clothes will never cut it for him. This is a story of facing reality, RE, and it helps me to read what you wrote. I am going to read it again and again---from a few days ago until today. The up and the down and the happiness you felt seeing her and the acceptance you are able to achieve right now. What a gift. I want to completely set difficult child free. I want him to be free of me. And me of him. Release her to the Universe. That is what you have done, RE. This is acceptance. Forgiveness for them and for ourselves. Every time, RE, once I get over the shock and the grief, this is where I land. I decided last week to stop resisting the facts. He is in jail. Relax into this time. He is somewhere. He is not "out there." This is a respite for me, and I am going to claim it. There is time enough, later, for something different. Right now is all we have. Your difficult child is somewhere now RE. I know you had hoped for something different. But she has done what she has chosen to do. There can be no mistaking that. In our society, there are rules and if they are broken, there are consequences. Maybe our difficult children are just not meant for this world today. I don't know. I am so thankful for you and for your example RE. What a six-day ride you have been on, and I am so glad I have been privileged to view it from here. Thank you. Blessings and peace to you today. I hope you can enjoy this minute, this evening, and relax into it, RE. [/QUOTE]
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