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A Cautionary Tale
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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 496187" data-attributes="member: 805"><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Witz,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I can tell you that when bonehead and I decided to separate, the first thing I insisted upon was that he read a co-parenting book. It was vitally important for him to stay tuned in so our children would know that our not being together did not change the love their mother and father had for them. While he gave the co-parenting great lip service, it was left to me to assure the children that their father loved them, that he was busy working that's why he wasn't visiting, that he had client meetings on Saturday and that is why he wasn't having them over, and on and on. It was tiresome, tedious, but absolutely necessary to not defame their father when they were young.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">At 21 and 16, my kids now have discovered on their own who their mother and father really are. Certainly their father loves them, but he is not who has parented them since 2003. While he will never win father of year, he never said a negative thing to the kids about me and I never spoke of him negatively in front or within earshot of them. Now that they are older, they know the truth. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">It is much better for children to learn their own truth when they can handle it rather than the words of spite and malice that often comes with messy breakups.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I often wondered how bonehead could go from living in the same home with the children, to never seeing them at bedtime or first thing in the morning. What a joy those years of stories at bedtime and sleepy good mornings were. They are the memories I will carry in my heart forever. Raising your children to be strong and independent means being strong and independent yourself. No one who defames the character of their children's other parent is strong -- they are weak and vindictive and eventually it will come back to bite them. Life has a way of coming full circle. Children grow into adults who cannot be deceived in the way of children.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I'm not much of a PE reader since my difficult child is still here with me, so I'm not familiar with what has been happening with you lately. But I offer hugs for your hurt and strength for your stress.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Sharon</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 496187, member: 805"] [FONT=comic sans ms][SIZE=3]Witz, I can tell you that when bonehead and I decided to separate, the first thing I insisted upon was that he read a co-parenting book. It was vitally important for him to stay tuned in so our children would know that our not being together did not change the love their mother and father had for them. While he gave the co-parenting great lip service, it was left to me to assure the children that their father loved them, that he was busy working that's why he wasn't visiting, that he had client meetings on Saturday and that is why he wasn't having them over, and on and on. It was tiresome, tedious, but absolutely necessary to not defame their father when they were young. At 21 and 16, my kids now have discovered on their own who their mother and father really are. Certainly their father loves them, but he is not who has parented them since 2003. While he will never win father of year, he never said a negative thing to the kids about me and I never spoke of him negatively in front or within earshot of them. Now that they are older, they know the truth. It is much better for children to learn their own truth when they can handle it rather than the words of spite and malice that often comes with messy breakups. I often wondered how bonehead could go from living in the same home with the children, to never seeing them at bedtime or first thing in the morning. What a joy those years of stories at bedtime and sleepy good mornings were. They are the memories I will carry in my heart forever. Raising your children to be strong and independent means being strong and independent yourself. No one who defames the character of their children's other parent is strong -- they are weak and vindictive and eventually it will come back to bite them. Life has a way of coming full circle. Children grow into adults who cannot be deceived in the way of children. I'm not much of a PE reader since my difficult child is still here with me, so I'm not familiar with what has been happening with you lately. But I offer hugs for your hurt and strength for your stress. Sharon[/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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