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A Dad's Email To Adult Children Explains How Very, Very Disappointed He Is In Them
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<blockquote data-quote="welcometowitsend" data-source="post: 566235" data-attributes="member: 14356"><p>IC - I had a therapist tell me that by the time kids are 12/13 years old you need to have imparted 90% of morals and values etc.. Once they are beyond that age they start making their own decisions and making their own minds up about what they believe/don't believe. </p><p></p><p>I think as parents we have a tendency to put some or a lot of our own self worth in how our kids turn out. I understand that as I've lived it. But... I don't necessarily think that's the right thing to do. I think we need to love them, nurture them, teach them, discipline them and then they ultimately decide how they will turn out in the end. Yes, we 'write on the slate of who they are' (as per Dr. Phil) but they make the final decisions. </p><p></p><p>It's hard not to look at yourself as a failure if your children do not turn out to be successful but I think there are a lot of kids that turn out to be successful in spite of their parents, as well. </p><p></p><p>I think this Dad tried his best for his children and feels like a failure because he feels that they have failed. They have failed to live up to his expectations. He thought he set a good domestic example for them to follow and they chose not to follow it, as well as not following his successful career example. It is so hard to realize that our children have the right to make decisions for themselves and our dreams may not be their dreams but that is ok. Now, having said that, they made their choices and should not burden their parents with the whining and complaining about their situations.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="welcometowitsend, post: 566235, member: 14356"] IC - I had a therapist tell me that by the time kids are 12/13 years old you need to have imparted 90% of morals and values etc.. Once they are beyond that age they start making their own decisions and making their own minds up about what they believe/don't believe. I think as parents we have a tendency to put some or a lot of our own self worth in how our kids turn out. I understand that as I've lived it. But... I don't necessarily think that's the right thing to do. I think we need to love them, nurture them, teach them, discipline them and then they ultimately decide how they will turn out in the end. Yes, we 'write on the slate of who they are' (as per Dr. Phil) but they make the final decisions. It's hard not to look at yourself as a failure if your children do not turn out to be successful but I think there are a lot of kids that turn out to be successful in spite of their parents, as well. I think this Dad tried his best for his children and feels like a failure because he feels that they have failed. They have failed to live up to his expectations. He thought he set a good domestic example for them to follow and they chose not to follow it, as well as not following his successful career example. It is so hard to realize that our children have the right to make decisions for themselves and our dreams may not be their dreams but that is ok. Now, having said that, they made their choices and should not burden their parents with the whining and complaining about their situations. [/QUOTE]
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A Dad's Email To Adult Children Explains How Very, Very Disappointed He Is In Them
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