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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 151796" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Beth, a serious suggestion, to help those parents who come after you - take careful notes. Help your son along. But record it all and when you think enough time has passed to be able to honestly say this placement is working wonders for him - then you feed that information back to his old school. Politely - no need to be obvious about rubbing their noses in it.</p><p></p><p>But think about it from their point of view - you ignored their good advice and 'kidnapped' your own child from their compassionate and informed custody, so of course it's going to be a disaster for him. And of course they will never hear about how he's going, because he's going to hit rock bottom and it's all going to end in tears - and of course the parents would never feed back if the outcome is so negative.</p><p></p><p>That's why I LOVE feeding back with a success story. "Hi, Mrs ___. Remember us? I just thought I'd share with you on the outcome of my child's progress since we left your jurisdiction. We immediately put X, Y and Z into place and found we got the really good outcomes of A, B and C. At this point the expectations are G, K and L. Isn't this great? I just thought you'd be relieved to know that your concerns did not eventuate after all."</p><p></p><p>You will undoubtedly never want to darken their doorstep again (and I don't blame you) but it's amazing how you can add the final link into their chain of consciousness, so that maybe in future they MAY just give a parent a bit more respect? </p><p></p><p>And hey, if they don't, it won't be for your lack of feedback.</p><p></p><p>A good friend of ours has a daughter who is very gifted. However, the child was badly bullied in her second year of schooling, by a mature-age first year teacher. This dark-haired dark-eyed child, K, was constantly put down and criticised, in favour of another child, B, who was blonde and blue-eyed. </p><p>K, a keen reader, brought her book list to school which showed she'd read 20 books over the week. The teacher's response was, "Not bad. But B - she's done great. She's read 5 books!" </p><p>K was the youngest finalist in a writing competition which got her entry published in one of the national newspapers. The teacher made no mention of it in the school newsletter at all. Lots of other things - B used to bully K. K's mother asked the teacher, "please do not sit K and B together, and please do not assign them to the same project."</p><p>So the teacher assigned the two girls to the same project. The teacher threw chalk, and at one time, a chalk eraser, at K "for insolence". K told her mother and couldn't understand why the teacher had been angry. "I was just looking at her, Mummy." (I've seen those dark eyes watching intently - an insecure person would find K's undivided attention intimidating).</p><p>K was eventually in tears every morning and refusing to go to school.</p><p></p><p>The mother complained to the principal but by then the teacher (who had only been relieving) was gone. The principal did nothing and even re-hired that teacher on a casual basis later on. The mother has been avoiding all social contact with that teacher because she couldn't trust herself to not be extremely rude to her. K has since been moved to another school where she is now doing extremely well - at the top of the extension class.</p><p></p><p>Last week K's mother met the teacher and (amazingly) was polite. The teacher asked how K was going so the mother told her, in glowing terms. The teacher tried but was unable to hide her disappointment (a sort of "Oops, I made the wrong call"). The mother said that the look on the teacher's face was extremely satisfying.</p><p></p><p>Success is the best revenge, but it's even more enjoyable when your enemy knows it.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 151796, member: 1991"] Beth, a serious suggestion, to help those parents who come after you - take careful notes. Help your son along. But record it all and when you think enough time has passed to be able to honestly say this placement is working wonders for him - then you feed that information back to his old school. Politely - no need to be obvious about rubbing their noses in it. But think about it from their point of view - you ignored their good advice and 'kidnapped' your own child from their compassionate and informed custody, so of course it's going to be a disaster for him. And of course they will never hear about how he's going, because he's going to hit rock bottom and it's all going to end in tears - and of course the parents would never feed back if the outcome is so negative. That's why I LOVE feeding back with a success story. "Hi, Mrs ___. Remember us? I just thought I'd share with you on the outcome of my child's progress since we left your jurisdiction. We immediately put X, Y and Z into place and found we got the really good outcomes of A, B and C. At this point the expectations are G, K and L. Isn't this great? I just thought you'd be relieved to know that your concerns did not eventuate after all." You will undoubtedly never want to darken their doorstep again (and I don't blame you) but it's amazing how you can add the final link into their chain of consciousness, so that maybe in future they MAY just give a parent a bit more respect? And hey, if they don't, it won't be for your lack of feedback. A good friend of ours has a daughter who is very gifted. However, the child was badly bullied in her second year of schooling, by a mature-age first year teacher. This dark-haired dark-eyed child, K, was constantly put down and criticised, in favour of another child, B, who was blonde and blue-eyed. K, a keen reader, brought her book list to school which showed she'd read 20 books over the week. The teacher's response was, "Not bad. But B - she's done great. She's read 5 books!" K was the youngest finalist in a writing competition which got her entry published in one of the national newspapers. The teacher made no mention of it in the school newsletter at all. Lots of other things - B used to bully K. K's mother asked the teacher, "please do not sit K and B together, and please do not assign them to the same project." So the teacher assigned the two girls to the same project. The teacher threw chalk, and at one time, a chalk eraser, at K "for insolence". K told her mother and couldn't understand why the teacher had been angry. "I was just looking at her, Mummy." (I've seen those dark eyes watching intently - an insecure person would find K's undivided attention intimidating). K was eventually in tears every morning and refusing to go to school. The mother complained to the principal but by then the teacher (who had only been relieving) was gone. The principal did nothing and even re-hired that teacher on a casual basis later on. The mother has been avoiding all social contact with that teacher because she couldn't trust herself to not be extremely rude to her. K has since been moved to another school where she is now doing extremely well - at the top of the extension class. Last week K's mother met the teacher and (amazingly) was polite. The teacher asked how K was going so the mother told her, in glowing terms. The teacher tried but was unable to hide her disappointment (a sort of "Oops, I made the wrong call"). The mother said that the look on the teacher's face was extremely satisfying. Success is the best revenge, but it's even more enjoyable when your enemy knows it. Marg [/QUOTE]
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