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A dilemma...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 76186" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My true opinion? I think you're asking for trouble. BIG time. And you can't do anything because you won't be there. Even though he's eighteen, I'd make him come with or have him stay with a relative. He isn't eighteen in the mature sense of the word. We left our daughter alone for one night. She thought we were going away for two nights (so did we). When we came home early and surprised her, we found a drug party going on in our house. This was after she had been behaving pretty well (at least around us) for a few weeks. I'm sure she would have cleaned house and everything would have been perfect by the time we got home if we hadn't surprised her early. I truly don't think the age eighteen means independence unless it is earned. It's up to you, of course, but you won't have a clue what he's doing while you're not here and he could easily backslide. This is the lack of structure that, in my opinion, is the kiss of death for our difficult children. I think it's too soon to put pressure on him to make him prove himself. I don't think he's ready--baby steps. I would want him clean for at least a year before I'd even leave him alone for three days. He may actually not want all that freedom--he counts on you to sort of keep an eye on him, and, unlike some eighteen year olds, he needs that. I do wish you luck and hope my prediction is wrong.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 76186, member: 1550"] My true opinion? I think you're asking for trouble. BIG time. And you can't do anything because you won't be there. Even though he's eighteen, I'd make him come with or have him stay with a relative. He isn't eighteen in the mature sense of the word. We left our daughter alone for one night. She thought we were going away for two nights (so did we). When we came home early and surprised her, we found a drug party going on in our house. This was after she had been behaving pretty well (at least around us) for a few weeks. I'm sure she would have cleaned house and everything would have been perfect by the time we got home if we hadn't surprised her early. I truly don't think the age eighteen means independence unless it is earned. It's up to you, of course, but you won't have a clue what he's doing while you're not here and he could easily backslide. This is the lack of structure that, in my opinion, is the kiss of death for our difficult children. I think it's too soon to put pressure on him to make him prove himself. I don't think he's ready--baby steps. I would want him clean for at least a year before I'd even leave him alone for three days. He may actually not want all that freedom--he counts on you to sort of keep an eye on him, and, unlike some eighteen year olds, he needs that. I do wish you luck and hope my prediction is wrong. [/QUOTE]
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