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A dilemma...
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<blockquote data-quote="SunnyFlorida" data-source="post: 76243" data-attributes="member: 696"><p>That's a toughy CaMom. Hope this doesn't get to rambly...</p><p>Just because he's been at an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) doesn't mean you HAVE to trust him completely. I agree, it's the counselors job to think like they do. It's your son's job to incorporate what he's learned. It's your job to protect your assets, including your son.</p><p></p><p>I'm thinking, no matter what you and husband do, you'll sort of end up being the bad guy. I think if it were me, I'd tell difficult child what great progress ykou feel he's made, but due to your lifetime of experiences, you are not ready to give him your home for a week while you are on vacation. I think he should be given a choice of attending the trip with you or staying with a relative....somewhere.</p><p></p><p>1. now you'll be able to see if difficult child can handle being told "no", and if he can go with the flow.</p><p>2. if he goes with you on the trip, he might enjoy himself, he may find it boring. So what...get him some music and tell him to chill. He can look for work upon return then he won't be so bored.</p><p>3. if he stays with a RELATIVE, this will be a clue as to how manipulative he really is. Will he follow someone else's rules, will he try and do what he wants, will he relapse. If he relapses at a relatives, it may just be self inflicted and only cause damage to himself (not property ie your home).</p><p></p><p>True, only you all know your difficult child. But like I said, you don't HAVE to trust him. It's up to him to make you all trust him and 1month home isn't doing it for me.</p><p></p><p>We've only started letting difficult child 2 use our boat by himself, and it's been at least 2yrs. difficult child 2 had to learn how to call husband and not use me as a middle man. It's a maturity thing that takes time.</p><p></p><p>Just my .02</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SunnyFlorida, post: 76243, member: 696"] That's a toughy CaMom. Hope this doesn't get to rambly... Just because he's been at an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) doesn't mean you HAVE to trust him completely. I agree, it's the counselors job to think like they do. It's your son's job to incorporate what he's learned. It's your job to protect your assets, including your son. I'm thinking, no matter what you and husband do, you'll sort of end up being the bad guy. I think if it were me, I'd tell difficult child what great progress ykou feel he's made, but due to your lifetime of experiences, you are not ready to give him your home for a week while you are on vacation. I think he should be given a choice of attending the trip with you or staying with a relative....somewhere. 1. now you'll be able to see if difficult child can handle being told "no", and if he can go with the flow. 2. if he goes with you on the trip, he might enjoy himself, he may find it boring. So what...get him some music and tell him to chill. He can look for work upon return then he won't be so bored. 3. if he stays with a RELATIVE, this will be a clue as to how manipulative he really is. Will he follow someone else's rules, will he try and do what he wants, will he relapse. If he relapses at a relatives, it may just be self inflicted and only cause damage to himself (not property ie your home). True, only you all know your difficult child. But like I said, you don't HAVE to trust him. It's up to him to make you all trust him and 1month home isn't doing it for me. We've only started letting difficult child 2 use our boat by himself, and it's been at least 2yrs. difficult child 2 had to learn how to call husband and not use me as a middle man. It's a maturity thing that takes time. Just my .02 [/QUOTE]
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