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Parent Emeritus
A few thoughts on detachment, from the difficult child side of the fence. It's a GOOD THING!
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 613998" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>RE, I'm so glad you found my thoughts helpful. I was a bit afraid I'd be rubbing salt in raw wounds, but I hoped you'd all find comfort in it.</p><p></p><p>Tammy, I keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers frequently. I too hope your difficult child finds his place in the world, and learns to be happy. Society doesn't seem to teach us that happiness, like any other achievement, is a skill that needs constant practice. I hope he finds his path.</p><p></p><p>Echolette, first off, Welcome. I've seen a few of your posts. So glad you found us, but sorry for the issues that brought you here. I agree that not every difficult child finds a way out. I have long chains of mental illness and alcoholism on both sides of my family. I think about my Great-Uncle, who was so drunk one night during the rainy season that he walked over a bridge -- that had been washed away in the storms -- and drowned. There are others, but his story is the most vivid for me. The hardest part with my own difficult child is holding back and letting him fail, and try again, and fail again. Knowing that it's the only way he'll learn, just as it was the only way I learned. He's a hard-head just like his mother. Hopefully, he'll find happiness too, just like his mom did.</p><p></p><p>PG, you reminded me of something. I remember the absences so vividly, but often forget the enabling. My mother, a difficult child in her own right, helped me to forge the paperwork to get a fake ID in my teens. Not that I needed one. When I was 14 I could walk into any liquor store in town and not get "carded". Older kids used to send me to buy their alcohol for them, because they would always get caught. Funny...the day I turned legal age, I started getting carded EVERYWHERE. The library, if I was checking something out that didn't come from the children's section. Restricted movies. Very strange...But yeah. A mom who helped me to get a fake ID, so that, as she put it, I could "have a social life". Maybe that's why I'm such a goody two-shoes straight arrow these days. I want my kids to think that rebelling means wearing your top button undone underneath your tie.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to all of you.</p><p></p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 613998, member: 3907"] RE, I'm so glad you found my thoughts helpful. I was a bit afraid I'd be rubbing salt in raw wounds, but I hoped you'd all find comfort in it. Tammy, I keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers frequently. I too hope your difficult child finds his place in the world, and learns to be happy. Society doesn't seem to teach us that happiness, like any other achievement, is a skill that needs constant practice. I hope he finds his path. Echolette, first off, Welcome. I've seen a few of your posts. So glad you found us, but sorry for the issues that brought you here. I agree that not every difficult child finds a way out. I have long chains of mental illness and alcoholism on both sides of my family. I think about my Great-Uncle, who was so drunk one night during the rainy season that he walked over a bridge -- that had been washed away in the storms -- and drowned. There are others, but his story is the most vivid for me. The hardest part with my own difficult child is holding back and letting him fail, and try again, and fail again. Knowing that it's the only way he'll learn, just as it was the only way I learned. He's a hard-head just like his mother. Hopefully, he'll find happiness too, just like his mom did. PG, you reminded me of something. I remember the absences so vividly, but often forget the enabling. My mother, a difficult child in her own right, helped me to forge the paperwork to get a fake ID in my teens. Not that I needed one. When I was 14 I could walk into any liquor store in town and not get "carded". Older kids used to send me to buy their alcohol for them, because they would always get caught. Funny...the day I turned legal age, I started getting carded EVERYWHERE. The library, if I was checking something out that didn't come from the children's section. Restricted movies. Very strange...But yeah. A mom who helped me to get a fake ID, so that, as she put it, I could "have a social life". Maybe that's why I'm such a goody two-shoes straight arrow these days. I want my kids to think that rebelling means wearing your top button undone underneath your tie. Hugs to all of you. Trinity [/QUOTE]
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A few thoughts on detachment, from the difficult child side of the fence. It's a GOOD THING!
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