Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
A few thoughts on severing ties...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 593889" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Witz, I think you have done and are doing a great job of handling the hand you were dealt. You are TOTALLY correct that the child often severs the ties first. Sometimes other people influence that, sometimes not. I want to thank you. Why? You let me know, years ago, that it really IS possible to cut ties with a family member and not have that used to beat you up forever more. You told me many times how nuts I was to allow my bro to abuse not just me but also my children and husband. You let me see that it is possible to get to a point where you are happy with your life and you don't have to let teh loss of loved ones who are not yet dead keep you in emotional pain.</p><p></p><p>I am not yet where you are with L in my relationship with gfgbro. I do think of him, esp on days I speak with or see my folks. But it isn't the pain it used to be, I have very few panic attacks over it all, and you and others here let me see that the tdocs were totally correct. I WAS broadcasting all the right things to set boundaries and be honest in relationships, it was those receiving the messages who were messed up. </p><p></p><p>I know many think you must be in pain to take L out of your will. I don't see it that way. Of course in my family we do think of inheritances differently. I know gfgbro wants the money and all the sentimental stuff. I wouldn't turn money down, but I hope and pray they spend as much as they can and enjoy every penny of it. If their wills read "being of sound mind and body, I partied away every last dime." I will be happy. I hoep you don't have to spend it all on healthcare and that you can enjoy life and spend what you have and never have to do without. If this means nothing is left, fine. If it means there is money left, I cannot think why anyoen would expect you to leave it to someone who cut you out of her life with deliberate cruelty regardless of how you tried to be there when she wanted you (or something from you, which really is all she ever came around for). I don't feel bad for your L. If she ends up hurt, well, she had more than decades to behave like a daughter and there is NOTHING that you did to her that deserved any of her nastiness. I do hope and pray that her father is very ill at the end of his life and ends up with the daughter he created as his main caregiver. He worked SOOOOO hard to make her what she is, I hoep he and his psychiatrist woman reap the benefits of her tender moneygrubbing care.</p><p></p><p>other than that, I am glad you have peace and a life you enjoy. Someday all those people who have slung arrows and judged you and believed lies about you will have to face an accounting for their behavior and I strongly believe it will not be pretty. </p><p></p><p>You came through the fire of serious awfulness and abuse and you know the truth of your life and have earned the peace and joy you now have. I am glad you have been here sharing the journey with me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 593889, member: 1233"] Witz, I think you have done and are doing a great job of handling the hand you were dealt. You are TOTALLY correct that the child often severs the ties first. Sometimes other people influence that, sometimes not. I want to thank you. Why? You let me know, years ago, that it really IS possible to cut ties with a family member and not have that used to beat you up forever more. You told me many times how nuts I was to allow my bro to abuse not just me but also my children and husband. You let me see that it is possible to get to a point where you are happy with your life and you don't have to let teh loss of loved ones who are not yet dead keep you in emotional pain. I am not yet where you are with L in my relationship with gfgbro. I do think of him, esp on days I speak with or see my folks. But it isn't the pain it used to be, I have very few panic attacks over it all, and you and others here let me see that the tdocs were totally correct. I WAS broadcasting all the right things to set boundaries and be honest in relationships, it was those receiving the messages who were messed up. I know many think you must be in pain to take L out of your will. I don't see it that way. Of course in my family we do think of inheritances differently. I know gfgbro wants the money and all the sentimental stuff. I wouldn't turn money down, but I hope and pray they spend as much as they can and enjoy every penny of it. If their wills read "being of sound mind and body, I partied away every last dime." I will be happy. I hoep you don't have to spend it all on healthcare and that you can enjoy life and spend what you have and never have to do without. If this means nothing is left, fine. If it means there is money left, I cannot think why anyoen would expect you to leave it to someone who cut you out of her life with deliberate cruelty regardless of how you tried to be there when she wanted you (or something from you, which really is all she ever came around for). I don't feel bad for your L. If she ends up hurt, well, she had more than decades to behave like a daughter and there is NOTHING that you did to her that deserved any of her nastiness. I do hope and pray that her father is very ill at the end of his life and ends up with the daughter he created as his main caregiver. He worked SOOOOO hard to make her what she is, I hoep he and his psychiatrist woman reap the benefits of her tender moneygrubbing care. other than that, I am glad you have peace and a life you enjoy. Someday all those people who have slung arrows and judged you and believed lies about you will have to face an accounting for their behavior and I strongly believe it will not be pretty. You came through the fire of serious awfulness and abuse and you know the truth of your life and have earned the peace and joy you now have. I am glad you have been here sharing the journey with me. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
A few thoughts on severing ties...
Top