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Parent Emeritus
A few thoughts on severing ties...
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<blockquote data-quote="everywoman" data-source="post: 593925" data-attributes="member: 1436"><p>Witz---I so understand your choices. L made the choice easy with her choices. </p><p> I learned years ago that the only person I can control is me. The only person I can change is me. Often I see people working their whole lives to change/alter/fix everyone in their lives. They live in a place where they believe if ____________ would only ______________, then I could be happy. I cry bull---I am happy because I love my life. </p><p></p><p>My children are grown and are allowed to live the lives they choose whether I approve or not. If difficult child had chosen to follow the path he was on at 18, then I would have still loved him---but I would not have approved of his choices. What I have worked hard to instill in them is that their lives are their responsibility. I am there to listen, to offer advice, to loan money if I think it is necessary, but it is not my job to "fix" their problems. They have to make mistakes and face the consequences of those mistakes. As their mother, I will be treated with dignity and respect, and if they can't do that, then I still love them, but I will not allow them to treat me badly. I do not expect them to be perfect because I am able to recognize my own imperfections and still like who I am. I spent 6 months not talking to difficult child. It was not easy, but that time allowed him to grown as a man and allowed me to grow as a parent. He learned that I would not run to his rescue, and I learned that I didn't have to.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="everywoman, post: 593925, member: 1436"] Witz---I so understand your choices. L made the choice easy with her choices. I learned years ago that the only person I can control is me. The only person I can change is me. Often I see people working their whole lives to change/alter/fix everyone in their lives. They live in a place where they believe if ____________ would only ______________, then I could be happy. I cry bull---I am happy because I love my life. My children are grown and are allowed to live the lives they choose whether I approve or not. If difficult child had chosen to follow the path he was on at 18, then I would have still loved him---but I would not have approved of his choices. What I have worked hard to instill in them is that their lives are their responsibility. I am there to listen, to offer advice, to loan money if I think it is necessary, but it is not my job to "fix" their problems. They have to make mistakes and face the consequences of those mistakes. As their mother, I will be treated with dignity and respect, and if they can't do that, then I still love them, but I will not allow them to treat me badly. I do not expect them to be perfect because I am able to recognize my own imperfections and still like who I am. I spent 6 months not talking to difficult child. It was not easy, but that time allowed him to grown as a man and allowed me to grow as a parent. He learned that I would not run to his rescue, and I learned that I didn't have to. [/QUOTE]
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A few thoughts on severing ties...
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