RN0441 - I forgot to tell you this. Difficult Child and I just started arguing again in the last week. For the last three years he has been so ill, meaning psychotic and tormented, that I stopped saying anything about anything and just tried to be there for him. I really have thought that he wouldn't be alive much longer so I didn't want to return to previous times of fighting when he is so completely out of his mind. I just wanted to offer whatever comfort I could, for whatever time he had left.
But he has been doing "better" lately, which I actually attribute to doing meth again because for some bizarre reason he becomes more lucid, almost "normal" when he does it. I do not understand it. He has been showering even. Bizarre.
But he has also been lucid enough for me to feel like I need to try to convince him to do some things while he is capable of it, and also my new found determination to change something, anything, about this situation.
He is normally nice to me, or so far off in some other world, talking to himself that we may be in each other's presence but not interacting. So that is why.
