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A husband problem
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<blockquote data-quote="Liahona" data-source="post: 477612"><p>Thanks guys. The difference between husband and a lot of guys who act this way is I need him. I need his emotional stability while I go through PTSD. He is the anchor that lets me do so much about X. So, even though he behaves very badly some times he isn't going anywhere.</p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>I have been approaching this from a normal marriage point of view. I don't parent my difficult children the way other parents do. Yet I expect my marriage to a difficult child to be normal? Time to change the way I think. </p><p> </p><p>I do think that taking away the electronics would vastly help. And after the major blow up (especially if mother in law is here) he will be o.k. with it and start letting others help him. </p><p></p><p>And he is so ashamed of what he does. He can see how everyone else is but he can't figure out how they do it. He doesn't want to admit to his wife how very disabled he is. I need a marriage class: how to be married to someone with autism. </p><p></p><p>Lisa, your post has lifted my spirits already and I haven't even done anything yet. I have felt very guilty about some of the stuff I do about the money and asking mother in law to come. Every time I have to do something 'out of the box' I'd think, but this isn't what good wives are supposed to do. We're supposed to talk about the money together. Supposed to be equal in ..... (house work, child rearing, lots of stuff to fill in the blank with) Your posts have helped me. Your husband and mine sound very familiar. We go through tons of cheese as well. </p><p></p><p>I can't stop mother in law from cleaning. Its just who she is. But I can temper her focus a bit and I really need her to help husband. She can say things to him that I can't. I think they will leave the house every morning. This will help her focus on husband and help husband get into the routine of leaving in the morning. </p><p></p><p>Terry, thanks for the hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Liahona, post: 477612"] Thanks guys. The difference between husband and a lot of guys who act this way is I need him. I need his emotional stability while I go through PTSD. He is the anchor that lets me do so much about X. So, even though he behaves very badly some times he isn't going anywhere. I have been approaching this from a normal marriage point of view. I don't parent my difficult children the way other parents do. Yet I expect my marriage to a difficult child to be normal? Time to change the way I think. I do think that taking away the electronics would vastly help. And after the major blow up (especially if mother in law is here) he will be o.k. with it and start letting others help him. And he is so ashamed of what he does. He can see how everyone else is but he can't figure out how they do it. He doesn't want to admit to his wife how very disabled he is. I need a marriage class: how to be married to someone with autism. Lisa, your post has lifted my spirits already and I haven't even done anything yet. I have felt very guilty about some of the stuff I do about the money and asking mother in law to come. Every time I have to do something 'out of the box' I'd think, but this isn't what good wives are supposed to do. We're supposed to talk about the money together. Supposed to be equal in ..... (house work, child rearing, lots of stuff to fill in the blank with) Your posts have helped me. Your husband and mine sound very familiar. We go through tons of cheese as well. I can't stop mother in law from cleaning. Its just who she is. But I can temper her focus a bit and I really need her to help husband. She can say things to him that I can't. I think they will leave the house every morning. This will help her focus on husband and help husband get into the routine of leaving in the morning. Terry, thanks for the hugs. [/QUOTE]
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