Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
A Job? School? Me? A baby sounds like a good solution.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="dashcat" data-source="post: 548948" data-attributes="member: 9175"><p>I do need advice here, but, please understand and respect that I've obtained information about her that I've needed to know. As long as she is under my roof, there are certain things I will check, so PLEASE no well-intentioned advice about "not looking". Someday, blessedly, I will not. </p><p></p><p>difficult child is still voluntarily unemployed (since end of June). She is earning her keep by doing a number of things around the house, from cutting the grass to scraping and painting outdoors. I have an older home, a yard with lots of trees and flower beds, and there is always work to be done. </p><p></p><p>I thought a few weeks of this would be enough to send her looking for an actual job. I don't pay her, I don't give her/lend her money, she cannot use my car (unless running errands for me), and I'm here most of the time so goofing off isn't easy. Mr. Ostrich took her on vacation last week (all expenses paid) and I thought she was holding out to find work until she returned. </p><p></p><p>She seems completely uninterested in finding real employment. A friend suggested a job fair (friend works two jobs). difficult child put her off and finally said "Please understand. I have to do this my way." WFH?????????</p><p></p><p>She has a boyfriend and this one girlfriend who seems to be perfectly happy to pay if they go out, pay for gas, etc. I pay for the roof over her head, her meals (the basics), and the utilities. She has to do her own laundry and contirbute to the general upkeep of the home, in addition to her "jobs".</p><p></p><p>So, now I find out what her "do it my way" seems to mean. She wants to get pregnant.</p><p></p><p>Now THERE's an answer!!! boyfriend (really nice guy) is a psychiatric major (oh, the irony) in his senior year of undergrad. Decent working class family - no Daddy Warbucks funding all of this. They use no birth control. She currently has a home test that she is waiting to take. Waiting for what?</p><p></p><p>Good God in Heaven.</p><p></p><p>I'm assuming she's not pregnant,so I'm not wildly concerned abou that ...now at least. ... it sounds lmore like one of her typical ploys .... But, really, it's only a matter of time. What I am wildly concerned about is her fractured fairy tale thinking ..something I know I am powerless to stop.</p><p></p><p>Where I need the most advice is: She does not seem to care a whit that she has no money. She's found a system to fulifll her small wants (boyfriend and enabling friend buy booze, DEX is taking her to the Browns game Friday, mom provides basic meals) and this seems ok. She does do the work I "assign", but in all honestly, it is draining. Every job entiails a mess of difficult child "I need help" and "come inspect" and attention, attention, attention. </p><p></p><p>I don't mind her living here under normal circumstances. Even through this, she is pleasant and respectful to me (behind my back, I am psycho-slave-driving-crazy-woman, which is ok). But I feel this is going to go on forever and - GOD HELLP ME - involve an innocent child being brought into the world for the sole purpose of keeping difficult child from having to deliver pizzas.</p><p></p><p>Do I insist she get a job? How does one do that? This is the kid who put on a uniform and "went to work" for two weeks. </p><p></p><p>I need serious help.</p><p>Dash</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dashcat, post: 548948, member: 9175"] I do need advice here, but, please understand and respect that I've obtained information about her that I've needed to know. As long as she is under my roof, there are certain things I will check, so PLEASE no well-intentioned advice about "not looking". Someday, blessedly, I will not. difficult child is still voluntarily unemployed (since end of June). She is earning her keep by doing a number of things around the house, from cutting the grass to scraping and painting outdoors. I have an older home, a yard with lots of trees and flower beds, and there is always work to be done. I thought a few weeks of this would be enough to send her looking for an actual job. I don't pay her, I don't give her/lend her money, she cannot use my car (unless running errands for me), and I'm here most of the time so goofing off isn't easy. Mr. Ostrich took her on vacation last week (all expenses paid) and I thought she was holding out to find work until she returned. She seems completely uninterested in finding real employment. A friend suggested a job fair (friend works two jobs). difficult child put her off and finally said "Please understand. I have to do this my way." WFH????????? She has a boyfriend and this one girlfriend who seems to be perfectly happy to pay if they go out, pay for gas, etc. I pay for the roof over her head, her meals (the basics), and the utilities. She has to do her own laundry and contirbute to the general upkeep of the home, in addition to her "jobs". So, now I find out what her "do it my way" seems to mean. She wants to get pregnant. Now THERE's an answer!!! boyfriend (really nice guy) is a psychiatric major (oh, the irony) in his senior year of undergrad. Decent working class family - no Daddy Warbucks funding all of this. They use no birth control. She currently has a home test that she is waiting to take. Waiting for what? Good God in Heaven. I'm assuming she's not pregnant,so I'm not wildly concerned abou that ...now at least. ... it sounds lmore like one of her typical ploys .... But, really, it's only a matter of time. What I am wildly concerned about is her fractured fairy tale thinking ..something I know I am powerless to stop. Where I need the most advice is: She does not seem to care a whit that she has no money. She's found a system to fulifll her small wants (boyfriend and enabling friend buy booze, DEX is taking her to the Browns game Friday, mom provides basic meals) and this seems ok. She does do the work I "assign", but in all honestly, it is draining. Every job entiails a mess of difficult child "I need help" and "come inspect" and attention, attention, attention. I don't mind her living here under normal circumstances. Even through this, she is pleasant and respectful to me (behind my back, I am psycho-slave-driving-crazy-woman, which is ok). But I feel this is going to go on forever and - GOD HELLP ME - involve an innocent child being brought into the world for the sole purpose of keeping difficult child from having to deliver pizzas. Do I insist she get a job? How does one do that? This is the kid who put on a uniform and "went to work" for two weeks. I need serious help. Dash [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
A Job? School? Me? A baby sounds like a good solution.
Top