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A Job? School? Me? A baby sounds like a good solution.
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<blockquote data-quote="dashcat" data-source="post: 548984" data-attributes="member: 9175"><p>Thank you, everyone. Only here, would such dialogue even be possible.</p><p></p><p>SuZir,</p><p>I have no idea why. And, you are right - there is something more going on. I just don't know what. I suspect it is all wrapped up somehow in h er magical thinking. She continually goes through Pinterest, pinning beautiful wedding things, exotic honeymoons, dream homes on the coast. It's one thing to dream ... but I think she actually LIVES in this orbit sometimes. She believes she canb e a writer (however, she doesn't write), and that is one of her answers.</p><p></p><p>The baby thing has been ongoing. She has been on because since she became sexually active, but she would have "scares" in high school. Pregnancy tests would come home. Blessedly negative. Were the scares real? Who knows.</p><p></p><p>She has - for years - made various claimsof pregnancy. Lost baby in car crash (car crashes are a big theme in her lying), had baby ..name is ______. Boyfriend beat her, lost baby. I'm 99.9% sure she'snever been pregnant. These stories tend to be on Tumblr, or were circulated around and got back to me.</p><p></p><p>I doubt that she is on any BC. Have asked, been told "yes, I go to Planned Parenthood". Can't prove or disprove. I am beginning to think she is having trouble conceiving (Thank GOD!) because I am quite sure she's been trying. Recent google history is all about "how to get pregnant FAST". In high school, she'd write letters to her unborn child "Daddy and I were surprised, but we want you so much". Doesn't take a PhD to get why an adopted difficult child might think along those lines.</p><p></p><p>About the job. This is a hard one. I don't know that I'm ready to force her out the door over this (though it's driving me mad). She is more than pleasant. She is loving and - yes, manipulative. I do get that. The next step makes sense on many levels, but I'm not sure I have what it takes.</p><p></p><p>As to helping her with money. All she has is home (a nice place, granted), food (good stuff, but no extras like ice cream. no alcohol that I provide), she has no cell phone service...can only dial 911 and set he alarm clock, the only time she getrs free transportation is if we're going somewhere together or the enabilng friend comes by. I keep minimal cash around and she hasn't touched it. Jewelery, valuables are hidden. Bank card, credit cards hidden. I bought her a ticket for an Indian's game when her cousins were in town last month ($15), but gave her no spending money. Toilteries are provided, but she has to share with me. Internet when I'm not on the computuer (use it for work, so I'm on a lot), Nicd TV for viewing DVDs, but no cable or TV service.</p><p></p><p>I don't get it. Most kids her age would be going insane. </p><p></p><p>I know I can't do anything to prevent her from getting pregnant (just pray). No, Nancy, I am not going to raise a grandchild. I'm serious about that.</p><p></p><p>It's a mess. Thanks for letting me sort it out - or try to, here.</p><p></p><p>Going to FA tonight. Really need it.</p><p></p><p>Dash</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dashcat, post: 548984, member: 9175"] Thank you, everyone. Only here, would such dialogue even be possible. SuZir, I have no idea why. And, you are right - there is something more going on. I just don't know what. I suspect it is all wrapped up somehow in h er magical thinking. She continually goes through Pinterest, pinning beautiful wedding things, exotic honeymoons, dream homes on the coast. It's one thing to dream ... but I think she actually LIVES in this orbit sometimes. She believes she canb e a writer (however, she doesn't write), and that is one of her answers. The baby thing has been ongoing. She has been on because since she became sexually active, but she would have "scares" in high school. Pregnancy tests would come home. Blessedly negative. Were the scares real? Who knows. She has - for years - made various claimsof pregnancy. Lost baby in car crash (car crashes are a big theme in her lying), had baby ..name is ______. Boyfriend beat her, lost baby. I'm 99.9% sure she'snever been pregnant. These stories tend to be on Tumblr, or were circulated around and got back to me. I doubt that she is on any BC. Have asked, been told "yes, I go to Planned Parenthood". Can't prove or disprove. I am beginning to think she is having trouble conceiving (Thank GOD!) because I am quite sure she's been trying. Recent google history is all about "how to get pregnant FAST". In high school, she'd write letters to her unborn child "Daddy and I were surprised, but we want you so much". Doesn't take a PhD to get why an adopted difficult child might think along those lines. About the job. This is a hard one. I don't know that I'm ready to force her out the door over this (though it's driving me mad). She is more than pleasant. She is loving and - yes, manipulative. I do get that. The next step makes sense on many levels, but I'm not sure I have what it takes. As to helping her with money. All she has is home (a nice place, granted), food (good stuff, but no extras like ice cream. no alcohol that I provide), she has no cell phone service...can only dial 911 and set he alarm clock, the only time she getrs free transportation is if we're going somewhere together or the enabilng friend comes by. I keep minimal cash around and she hasn't touched it. Jewelery, valuables are hidden. Bank card, credit cards hidden. I bought her a ticket for an Indian's game when her cousins were in town last month ($15), but gave her no spending money. Toilteries are provided, but she has to share with me. Internet when I'm not on the computuer (use it for work, so I'm on a lot), Nicd TV for viewing DVDs, but no cable or TV service. I don't get it. Most kids her age would be going insane. I know I can't do anything to prevent her from getting pregnant (just pray). No, Nancy, I am not going to raise a grandchild. I'm serious about that. It's a mess. Thanks for letting me sort it out - or try to, here. Going to FA tonight. Really need it. Dash [/QUOTE]
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