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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 662761" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>SWOT, you know I do not.</p><p></p><p>To wish that my son worked is not to be ashamed of him when he does not, or even if he chooses not to.</p><p></p><p>In the original post I said I was ambivalent. That I wanted him to have the protection of SSI, but to have the incentive to work. Is that wrong?</p><p></p><p>I understand that what I want is inappropriate and wrong to impose on him. I am not doing this. Anymore.</p><p></p><p>Is it wrong in my heart of hearts to wish he wanted to work, or volunteer?</p><p></p><p>Or to wish that he felt the need or incentive to participate in a program that would help him achieve his potential?</p><p></p><p>Before he received the SSI he had to go to residential treatment for 4 months, because he had no other way to support himself. As a result he seemed to be more stable, mature and focused there than he had been for years. He could have continued in the program and gone to a satellite apartment. From there he could have gotten a subsidized apartment in the expensive beautiful Big City we both love.</p><p></p><p>He did not do it. He did not continue. He stopped as soon as his SSI was approved, and he got money in his pocket.</p><p></p><p>Had it been your child, would you not have wanted him to continue in the program, and resent what seemed to support the disincentive to do so???</p><p></p><p>SWOT we are always on the same side, when I really think about things. I accept you have been right in stuff where it really caused me to work hard and accept failings in myself...to come to your point of view.</p><p></p><p>I am not saying he should not receive his SSI or that he is bad or shameful to seek it. I just wish he had the motivation to choose better for himself, when he has the money in his pocket. You did.</p><p></p><p>I will reply to you next time on the FOO thread. I feel guilty hijacking here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 662761, member: 18958"] SWOT, you know I do not. To wish that my son worked is not to be ashamed of him when he does not, or even if he chooses not to. In the original post I said I was ambivalent. That I wanted him to have the protection of SSI, but to have the incentive to work. Is that wrong? I understand that what I want is inappropriate and wrong to impose on him. I am not doing this. Anymore. Is it wrong in my heart of hearts to wish he wanted to work, or volunteer? Or to wish that he felt the need or incentive to participate in a program that would help him achieve his potential? Before he received the SSI he had to go to residential treatment for 4 months, because he had no other way to support himself. As a result he seemed to be more stable, mature and focused there than he had been for years. He could have continued in the program and gone to a satellite apartment. From there he could have gotten a subsidized apartment in the expensive beautiful Big City we both love. He did not do it. He did not continue. He stopped as soon as his SSI was approved, and he got money in his pocket. Had it been your child, would you not have wanted him to continue in the program, and resent what seemed to support the disincentive to do so??? SWOT we are always on the same side, when I really think about things. I accept you have been right in stuff where it really caused me to work hard and accept failings in myself...to come to your point of view. I am not saying he should not receive his SSI or that he is bad or shameful to seek it. I just wish he had the motivation to choose better for himself, when he has the money in his pocket. You did. I will reply to you next time on the FOO thread. I feel guilty hijacking here. [/QUOTE]
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