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General Parenting
A Plan to "Teach" Empathy - Input please?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 433933" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>DF, I see several things.</p><p></p><p>First, Ms Ally does seem to be trying hard to help, within the limitations given to her. When she says to focus on the underlying cause rather than the result, I think she is right. Of course if she does damage then she needs to make restitution, but that is natural consequences. If you are playing with your friends and you suddenly attack one of them, then those friends will not want to play with you. Natural consequences. YOU didn't make the friends go away. She did. Same if she dents the car - someone has to pay for the repairs. She did the damage, she needs to make restitution. But at the same time, whatever made her angry needs to be at least identified, even if she was being unreasonable. And if she WAS being unreasonable, then there could be other problems beneath the surface which also need to be identified.</p><p>I think you need to try this, at least in terms of making notes for MsAlly on what you thought her triggers were in each raging incident. Jusrt make notes. Don't try to fix anything if it is too difficult.</p><p></p><p>Next, the empathy jar - brilliant! It may not be as successful as you hope, but if you are seen by Ms Ally to be making a serious effort and coming up with such a really good idea, it sends another clear message that this child is not merely behaving badly because of parental neglect or apathy. It could open more doors towards some genuine help.</p><p></p><p>And hey, it MIGHT work. That would be a bonus.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 433933, member: 1991"] DF, I see several things. First, Ms Ally does seem to be trying hard to help, within the limitations given to her. When she says to focus on the underlying cause rather than the result, I think she is right. Of course if she does damage then she needs to make restitution, but that is natural consequences. If you are playing with your friends and you suddenly attack one of them, then those friends will not want to play with you. Natural consequences. YOU didn't make the friends go away. She did. Same if she dents the car - someone has to pay for the repairs. She did the damage, she needs to make restitution. But at the same time, whatever made her angry needs to be at least identified, even if she was being unreasonable. And if she WAS being unreasonable, then there could be other problems beneath the surface which also need to be identified. I think you need to try this, at least in terms of making notes for MsAlly on what you thought her triggers were in each raging incident. Jusrt make notes. Don't try to fix anything if it is too difficult. Next, the empathy jar - brilliant! It may not be as successful as you hope, but if you are seen by Ms Ally to be making a serious effort and coming up with such a really good idea, it sends another clear message that this child is not merely behaving badly because of parental neglect or apathy. It could open more doors towards some genuine help. And hey, it MIGHT work. That would be a bonus. Marg [/QUOTE]
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A Plan to "Teach" Empathy - Input please?
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