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A "positively" delightful day. LOL Not.
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 172827" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>OK, so how would you classify a BAD day?</p><p></p><p>Seriously, though - I know a lot of people who would call that a good day. YOU held it together and didn't escalate anything yourself by tipping him over. He managed tat all by himself.</p><p></p><p>An excursion like that one is a very difficult thing for a young difficult child to go on (I presume it was your 6 year old and not your 19 year old?)</p><p></p><p>If he's Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in any way, I can sooo relate to this. The anxiety goes hand in hand with the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). All the fidgets, the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) stuff, the repetitive stuff, the "what will happen if I do this? Oh, I just did it anyway. Let's do it again" stuff - it all fits.</p><p></p><p>Screaming in the whispering gallery - it's what 6 year old boys do. A lot of what you describe is fairly typical little boy stuff; the poor impulse control adds in a fair bit more without needing to be excessive.</p><p></p><p>Back at school - I suspect your difficult child had it in his head tat because YOU were along, thenas soon as you all got back he would STILL be with you and you would both toddle off into the sunset together. Leaving him at school so suddenly, when he considered he would be going with you (very strong belief system - very hard to shake it and convince him he is going to do things differently to his belief system) - it would have seemed the worst betrayal and THAT tipped him over into rage and tantrum. So EVERYTHING he did after tat, was all connected.</p><p></p><p>If you look at his behaviour in terms of how it all hangs together - I think he had a really good day, only spoiled by the tantrum at the end.</p><p></p><p>Did they HAVE to restrain him? They don't do it that way here in Australia (at least, they never did with difficult child 3) although at 6, he wouldn't have understood when I suddenly wanted to leave without him, and he had expected to come too. </p><p></p><p>I probably would have either re-thought my errands or taken him with me. I can almost guarantee you wouldn't have had those tantrums. You MAY have had other tantrums ("Mummy, I want that toy!"). Alternatively (and maybe for future reference) prepare him in advance. "Son, we'll be back at the school soon. I will leave you there for an our because after all, the other kids will still be staying at school and it IS a school day, even if we've been out on an excursion. I have some really boring stuff to do, some offices to visit. If I go on my own I can be really quick and come back to pick you up. If you come with me you would be bored." (Obviously, play it by ear, what you specifically say).</p><p></p><p>If your son has Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and also tends to be obsessive, you can use that obsessiveness to your advantage. "School work during school hours" is one that really stuck with us - if I had difficult child 3 in my custody during school hours, I made sure it was NOT seen as a "get out of school free" card, but had a supply of schoolwork for him to do (such as his homework for that week, for a start). That's when I made the interesting discovery that his schoolwork = routine, which would quiet him down. I began doing similar things on school excursions, too - as he got older they handed out worksheets for them anyway, but if he didn't have a worksheet, I got him to take photos of what we were seeing, to help him document it. He had the photos to label later on, to help him learn exactly what we'd seen and what the importance of it was. I bet your son didn't really understand the significance of what today was about. He will get it one day though. It just takes a little longer, with our kids.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. I think your first assessment was right, apart from the hiccup at the end.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 172827, member: 1991"] OK, so how would you classify a BAD day? Seriously, though - I know a lot of people who would call that a good day. YOU held it together and didn't escalate anything yourself by tipping him over. He managed tat all by himself. An excursion like that one is a very difficult thing for a young difficult child to go on (I presume it was your 6 year old and not your 19 year old?) If he's Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in any way, I can sooo relate to this. The anxiety goes hand in hand with the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). All the fidgets, the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) stuff, the repetitive stuff, the "what will happen if I do this? Oh, I just did it anyway. Let's do it again" stuff - it all fits. Screaming in the whispering gallery - it's what 6 year old boys do. A lot of what you describe is fairly typical little boy stuff; the poor impulse control adds in a fair bit more without needing to be excessive. Back at school - I suspect your difficult child had it in his head tat because YOU were along, thenas soon as you all got back he would STILL be with you and you would both toddle off into the sunset together. Leaving him at school so suddenly, when he considered he would be going with you (very strong belief system - very hard to shake it and convince him he is going to do things differently to his belief system) - it would have seemed the worst betrayal and THAT tipped him over into rage and tantrum. So EVERYTHING he did after tat, was all connected. If you look at his behaviour in terms of how it all hangs together - I think he had a really good day, only spoiled by the tantrum at the end. Did they HAVE to restrain him? They don't do it that way here in Australia (at least, they never did with difficult child 3) although at 6, he wouldn't have understood when I suddenly wanted to leave without him, and he had expected to come too. I probably would have either re-thought my errands or taken him with me. I can almost guarantee you wouldn't have had those tantrums. You MAY have had other tantrums ("Mummy, I want that toy!"). Alternatively (and maybe for future reference) prepare him in advance. "Son, we'll be back at the school soon. I will leave you there for an our because after all, the other kids will still be staying at school and it IS a school day, even if we've been out on an excursion. I have some really boring stuff to do, some offices to visit. If I go on my own I can be really quick and come back to pick you up. If you come with me you would be bored." (Obviously, play it by ear, what you specifically say). If your son has Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and also tends to be obsessive, you can use that obsessiveness to your advantage. "School work during school hours" is one that really stuck with us - if I had difficult child 3 in my custody during school hours, I made sure it was NOT seen as a "get out of school free" card, but had a supply of schoolwork for him to do (such as his homework for that week, for a start). That's when I made the interesting discovery that his schoolwork = routine, which would quiet him down. I began doing similar things on school excursions, too - as he got older they handed out worksheets for them anyway, but if he didn't have a worksheet, I got him to take photos of what we were seeing, to help him document it. He had the photos to label later on, to help him learn exactly what we'd seen and what the importance of it was. I bet your son didn't really understand the significance of what today was about. He will get it one day though. It just takes a little longer, with our kids. Hang in there. I think your first assessment was right, apart from the hiccup at the end. Marg [/QUOTE]
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