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General Parenting
A Question For difficult child Parents
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 583433" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>difficult child left for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) when he was 9 - it had been a solid 5 years of full-blown gfgness around here and I think we were at hospitalization 15 right before he left. </p><p></p><p>It took about 6 months for me to start to loosen up here at home, not waiting for the next explosion. It probably took another good 6 months before I stopped feeling guilty for having fun even though difficult child wasn't here. Not like we had a whole lot of fun when he was here, but... just simple stuff, like going to a movie or the mall or whatever with- the other kids - those activities with- difficult child were impossible, but it was really hard to allow myself to enjoy them when he wasn't here. I felt like any happiness I felt was disloyal to him. (I know, I'm crazy, LOL). Does that make sense?</p><p></p><p>I think the quickest adjustment was a change in my parenting. Weeburt was 5 and Diva 2 when difficult child left the first time - I realized I'd been parenting Wee especially as if he was a difficult child, which he wasn't by any stretch of the imagination. Getting back to a more "normal" parenting mode came back really fast.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 583433, member: 8"] difficult child left for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) when he was 9 - it had been a solid 5 years of full-blown gfgness around here and I think we were at hospitalization 15 right before he left. It took about 6 months for me to start to loosen up here at home, not waiting for the next explosion. It probably took another good 6 months before I stopped feeling guilty for having fun even though difficult child wasn't here. Not like we had a whole lot of fun when he was here, but... just simple stuff, like going to a movie or the mall or whatever with- the other kids - those activities with- difficult child were impossible, but it was really hard to allow myself to enjoy them when he wasn't here. I felt like any happiness I felt was disloyal to him. (I know, I'm crazy, LOL). Does that make sense? I think the quickest adjustment was a change in my parenting. Weeburt was 5 and Diva 2 when difficult child left the first time - I realized I'd been parenting Wee especially as if he was a difficult child, which he wasn't by any stretch of the imagination. Getting back to a more "normal" parenting mode came back really fast. [/QUOTE]
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