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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 272688" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Being a geek is ok by me. I find different thinkers to be wonderful as long as they function. His dad would have been a geek if he hadn't been an athlete. He is more geek than athlete. He came from a family who when their mother wondered where an obscure college was 2 siblings who were in college and husband who was married almost knocked each other over to get to the encyclopedia. It was eye opening to me. Being geeky is intellectual curiosity. Intellectual curiosity is being intelligent. Works for me. </p><p></p><p>difficult child continues to work on trying to process and tries very hard to organize his life in a way that seems miniscule to nt folks but is big to him(and me). He was quite proud that he moved his clothes hamper into his bathroom since that's where he takes off clothes. This is big. Despite being told for years that he should make his environment work for him and to set it up as he lives, it now has meaning because he figured it out for himself. If he continues to apply those principals to other aspects he will make more progress. Everytime he has done something right, I am right behind him reminding him that he chose to do it correctly. He should be proud of himself for overcoming hurdles. </p><p>He is not under a lot of pressure these last 8 mo. I expect small contribution towards maintaining our home but the sooner he stopped whining and the more cooperative he became the easier everyone was around him. He pays rent and food as best he can(which is put aside for a deposit on an apartment). </p><p></p><p>Interesting calm conversation about self care. His comment to me was " I know what you say is true but I really don't care" So I went back to what makes humans different from animals and what being civilized means. In order to function in the world as he wants to function he must be civilized which is basic. I think that left an impression. He has been much better about it the last 6 months with occasional lapses. </p><p></p><p>I have always felt dev. delay doesn't mean it never happens and that if it were to happen at 25 or 28 or 30 then we could continue on. It's when nothing seems to be working and his life has no meaning to anyone especially to him. </p><p></p><p>Truth be told these moments of hope help when we are bleak in our foreward vision of what difficult child's life is or will be. </p><p></p><p>With my mom, her spirit is easier to watch from a distance but there is always a concern for diminished capacity that is masked by protests of need for independence. </p><p></p><p>easy child is ok. He just needs his own space I guess. He is a good boy and I have to trust him. (grumble, grumble) LOL. </p><p></p><p>You have all got me on the not really enjoying slowing down. It's probably true. Maybe I am longing for a few days to organize my kitchen. LOL. I hate chaos and clutter but I'm not compulsive enough to make myself miserable or make it a priority. I have driven 12 states in 6 wks for stuff that isn't vacation. I'm already thinking about the Memorial day weekend. LOL. </p><p></p><p>Thanks for your continued interest in this very long continuous saga. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/916blusher.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":916blusher:" title="blushing :916blusher:" data-shortname=":916blusher:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 272688, member: 3"] Being a geek is ok by me. I find different thinkers to be wonderful as long as they function. His dad would have been a geek if he hadn't been an athlete. He is more geek than athlete. He came from a family who when their mother wondered where an obscure college was 2 siblings who were in college and husband who was married almost knocked each other over to get to the encyclopedia. It was eye opening to me. Being geeky is intellectual curiosity. Intellectual curiosity is being intelligent. Works for me. difficult child continues to work on trying to process and tries very hard to organize his life in a way that seems miniscule to nt folks but is big to him(and me). He was quite proud that he moved his clothes hamper into his bathroom since that's where he takes off clothes. This is big. Despite being told for years that he should make his environment work for him and to set it up as he lives, it now has meaning because he figured it out for himself. If he continues to apply those principals to other aspects he will make more progress. Everytime he has done something right, I am right behind him reminding him that he chose to do it correctly. He should be proud of himself for overcoming hurdles. He is not under a lot of pressure these last 8 mo. I expect small contribution towards maintaining our home but the sooner he stopped whining and the more cooperative he became the easier everyone was around him. He pays rent and food as best he can(which is put aside for a deposit on an apartment). Interesting calm conversation about self care. His comment to me was " I know what you say is true but I really don't care" So I went back to what makes humans different from animals and what being civilized means. In order to function in the world as he wants to function he must be civilized which is basic. I think that left an impression. He has been much better about it the last 6 months with occasional lapses. I have always felt dev. delay doesn't mean it never happens and that if it were to happen at 25 or 28 or 30 then we could continue on. It's when nothing seems to be working and his life has no meaning to anyone especially to him. Truth be told these moments of hope help when we are bleak in our foreward vision of what difficult child's life is or will be. With my mom, her spirit is easier to watch from a distance but there is always a concern for diminished capacity that is masked by protests of need for independence. easy child is ok. He just needs his own space I guess. He is a good boy and I have to trust him. (grumble, grumble) LOL. You have all got me on the not really enjoying slowing down. It's probably true. Maybe I am longing for a few days to organize my kitchen. LOL. I hate chaos and clutter but I'm not compulsive enough to make myself miserable or make it a priority. I have driven 12 states in 6 wks for stuff that isn't vacation. I'm already thinking about the Memorial day weekend. LOL. Thanks for your continued interest in this very long continuous saga. :blusher: [/QUOTE]
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