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Substance Abuse
A step backwards for him and me
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 740309" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Great question Copa! I think it is his history along with his lack of communication. And actually the lack of communication doesnt mean anything. He often doesn’t communicate.... so sometimes no communication is good news and sometimes it means he is hiding stuff. So actually the fact that he is not really communicating doesnt mean anything... and last I heard he had a girl friend visiting him for a while so if she is there is probably not going to really communicate. </p><p></p><p>So then it is my fear that he will feel bad about himself for losing the job and will feel like a screw up and feel like he cant get it together and that will make him want to use. And it may very well. I have to hope he is smart enough if that is the case to get support around it. And to hope if he does have this friend visiting that she will be a positive influence and distraction. I dont know her so I have no idea about that.</p><p></p><p>So I guess I have to hold on to the fact that in fact he had saved some money from his working so was planning on using that to help support himself for the next month and was planning on going out right away to get another job and just hope that he is able to do that. The other positive is that he enjoyed working and earning money, that made him feel good about himself.... and although he acknowledges his mistake, he also acknowledge that he was really trying so unless he was lying to me it sounds like it was a mistake anyone could have made (rather than something like getting high or stealing).</p><p></p><p>So instead of assuming the worst which is what I am kind of doing maybe I need to assume the best.... which is hard for me to do. His history makes it hard for me to do.... but going into it this time he was in a much better place than in the past.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for the question... you made me think it through some more.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 740309, member: 15801"] Great question Copa! I think it is his history along with his lack of communication. And actually the lack of communication doesnt mean anything. He often doesn’t communicate.... so sometimes no communication is good news and sometimes it means he is hiding stuff. So actually the fact that he is not really communicating doesnt mean anything... and last I heard he had a girl friend visiting him for a while so if she is there is probably not going to really communicate. So then it is my fear that he will feel bad about himself for losing the job and will feel like a screw up and feel like he cant get it together and that will make him want to use. And it may very well. I have to hope he is smart enough if that is the case to get support around it. And to hope if he does have this friend visiting that she will be a positive influence and distraction. I dont know her so I have no idea about that. So I guess I have to hold on to the fact that in fact he had saved some money from his working so was planning on using that to help support himself for the next month and was planning on going out right away to get another job and just hope that he is able to do that. The other positive is that he enjoyed working and earning money, that made him feel good about himself.... and although he acknowledges his mistake, he also acknowledge that he was really trying so unless he was lying to me it sounds like it was a mistake anyone could have made (rather than something like getting high or stealing). So instead of assuming the worst which is what I am kind of doing maybe I need to assume the best.... which is hard for me to do. His history makes it hard for me to do.... but going into it this time he was in a much better place than in the past. Thanks for the question... you made me think it through some more. [/QUOTE]
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A step backwards for him and me
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