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A strange balance point
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 620913" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Thanks to you Nancy and thanks to you COM. I <em>feel</em> your support. Feels good too.</p><p></p><p>Here is the weird thing, this all feels appropriate. As I went through the last couple of hours and let go, it occurred to me that my daughter has been hanging on this precipice for a long time.........and someone, used to be me, comes in and saves her. Her life has been held together with glue for awhile now and this may be the time where she cannot control anyone else to save her..........</p><p></p><p>My daughter is not addicted COM, she has some kind of personality disorder, anti social, narcissist, I don't really know and really it doesn't matter, she is who she is. The situation is what it is. I am not feeling hurt or sad or really anything but this all just feels right. I can't even explain it. I am in my right place. She is in hers. I have no control over any of it. I am powerless. There is an enormous amount of freedom in that.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yup, we only have this one day, this one night.........and you know what COM? I don't even want to wait, hope or even pray anymore.............my heart is there with her, I love her, the love is there..........<em>my waiting, hoping and praying is over. </em>Somehow that is a connection I don't want to have right now........I have compassion for her and I am aware that she has work to do........or not...........but I am not a part of that.</p><p></p><p>This definitely feels odd. I feel very disconnected from my daughter and yet it feels healthy for ME. As you said in your post COM, "I don't know what 'this' is................. but it feels like progress." This really feels like progress to me and here's the kicker..............I am having a normal, peaceful, enjoyable evening with SO.........just a regular kind of night. Now, that (for me) is major progress!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 620913, member: 13542"] Thanks to you Nancy and thanks to you COM. I [I]feel[/I] your support. Feels good too. Here is the weird thing, this all feels appropriate. As I went through the last couple of hours and let go, it occurred to me that my daughter has been hanging on this precipice for a long time.........and someone, used to be me, comes in and saves her. Her life has been held together with glue for awhile now and this may be the time where she cannot control anyone else to save her.......... My daughter is not addicted COM, she has some kind of personality disorder, anti social, narcissist, I don't really know and really it doesn't matter, she is who she is. The situation is what it is. I am not feeling hurt or sad or really anything but this all just feels right. I can't even explain it. I am in my right place. She is in hers. I have no control over any of it. I am powerless. There is an enormous amount of freedom in that. Yup, we only have this one day, this one night.........and you know what COM? I don't even want to wait, hope or even pray anymore.............my heart is there with her, I love her, the love is there..........[I]my waiting, hoping and praying is over. [/I]Somehow that is a connection I don't want to have right now........I have compassion for her and I am aware that she has work to do........or not...........but I am not a part of that. This definitely feels odd. I feel very disconnected from my daughter and yet it feels healthy for ME. As you said in your post COM, "I don't know what 'this' is................. but it feels like progress." This really feels like progress to me and here's the kicker..............I am having a normal, peaceful, enjoyable evening with SO.........just a regular kind of night. Now, that (for me) is major progress! [/QUOTE]
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A strange balance point
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