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A strange balance point
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 620944" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Thank you Cedar. Your words are soothing. I think somewhere in the last few months I have come to believe that it is too late for her to come back. I think I just let go at some point, realizing there was nothing else to do. Even now with her in jail, I feel that it won't make any difference what I do or don't do, she will return to the life she has chosen. I just gave up and in the giving up, the lack of hope, that true realization, it all got easier for me. </p><p></p><p>When she was last in jail, 18 months ago, I was in hell, I was frantic, I was out of control, I was crying all the time, I was running all over the county to get her life together, to help her while she was incarcerated. This time? A tiny bump on the radar screen. That's how much one can change. This time it's about me, not about her. And, what I want is to be left out of this...........completely. She will likely call me at work today, collect, to fill me in on what needs to be done while she is in jail. That might be dicey, it's a tough one when she is crying.</p><p></p><p>If you all can send some good vibes and prayers for she and I, that would be helpful as we now walk forward in our own lives, separately.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 620944, member: 13542"] Thank you Cedar. Your words are soothing. I think somewhere in the last few months I have come to believe that it is too late for her to come back. I think I just let go at some point, realizing there was nothing else to do. Even now with her in jail, I feel that it won't make any difference what I do or don't do, she will return to the life she has chosen. I just gave up and in the giving up, the lack of hope, that true realization, it all got easier for me. When she was last in jail, 18 months ago, I was in hell, I was frantic, I was out of control, I was crying all the time, I was running all over the county to get her life together, to help her while she was incarcerated. This time? A tiny bump on the radar screen. That's how much one can change. This time it's about me, not about her. And, what I want is to be left out of this...........completely. She will likely call me at work today, collect, to fill me in on what needs to be done while she is in jail. That might be dicey, it's a tough one when she is crying. If you all can send some good vibes and prayers for she and I, that would be helpful as we now walk forward in our own lives, separately. [/QUOTE]
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A strange balance point
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