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A thorn in the dog
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 491215" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Thank you all for your comments.</p><p>I think Buddy hits the nail on the head - I think it's about impulse control and very low frustration tolerance. A frequent occurence is J wailing or screaming when he wants something: "I can't wait! I want it now!" It is as though having to wait causes him agonising pain. </p><p>And then... I really don't think his thinking about how his actions affects others is developmentally normal. Although he will be empathetic and caring if he sees me or anyone else hurting or in need of help, in general his own view and needs take absolute precedence over everyone else's and <strong>justify</strong> in his mind his actions... Talking about the dog incident with him yesterday, he again said that he had put the thorn in her because she didn't want to go in the water with him and he said it in a way that implied that his response to this unbearable provocation was only right and natural... It's like him getting angry when someone does not do what he wants or give him what he wants. While all 5 year olds are of course naturally egocentric, he is... more than most, I think. He is often quarrelsome with his friends, with other children - because he is always fighting for what he perceives as his interests and endlessly on the defensive against being belittled or denied in any way... With, also, a generous and helpful outlook when he chooses. </p><p>His situation does not help, as the only child of a single woman. He is totally used to having attention focused on himself and not having to share things with others at home or be just "one of the family". He wants to be the only one, the special one, and yet I also think this does not help him at all...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 491215, member: 11227"] Thank you all for your comments. I think Buddy hits the nail on the head - I think it's about impulse control and very low frustration tolerance. A frequent occurence is J wailing or screaming when he wants something: "I can't wait! I want it now!" It is as though having to wait causes him agonising pain. And then... I really don't think his thinking about how his actions affects others is developmentally normal. Although he will be empathetic and caring if he sees me or anyone else hurting or in need of help, in general his own view and needs take absolute precedence over everyone else's and [B]justify[/B] in his mind his actions... Talking about the dog incident with him yesterday, he again said that he had put the thorn in her because she didn't want to go in the water with him and he said it in a way that implied that his response to this unbearable provocation was only right and natural... It's like him getting angry when someone does not do what he wants or give him what he wants. While all 5 year olds are of course naturally egocentric, he is... more than most, I think. He is often quarrelsome with his friends, with other children - because he is always fighting for what he perceives as his interests and endlessly on the defensive against being belittled or denied in any way... With, also, a generous and helpful outlook when he chooses. His situation does not help, as the only child of a single woman. He is totally used to having attention focused on himself and not having to share things with others at home or be just "one of the family". He wants to be the only one, the special one, and yet I also think this does not help him at all... [/QUOTE]
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