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Parent Emeritus
A very bad day
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 748307" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>Your posts about feeling so empty make me sad. For me my daughter's issues forced me to take a long, hard look at me. Why was I only feeling good if I was in relationships with some people? Why did I define myself by others and if they needed or wanted me in their lives? That's not living to my fullest potential. That is living for others. So I started working on me. What do I like to do? What am I interested in? Have I sold myself short in my career, not believing I could do more? I moved into a house on a lake and started interacting with nature every single day. I spent time just exploring with my dogs. I spent time just being with my dogs (in fact I did that today). If I didn't feel like doing anything, I didn't do anything. If I felt like having a drink with friends, I had a drink with friends. If I didn't want to clean my house, I didn't. I started doing all kinds of puzzles. I started working on photography. When I have my granddaughter I completely indulge her and do whatever she wants. I did home projects I never thought I could do. I became vegetarian. I started saying no. I became really invested in my career and got a major promotion. Mind you, all of this has happened over a period of the last 10 years, not all at once. But I used my problems with my daughter to improve my life. In fact, last week she asked me to help her with something but I didn't want to get up early, so I told her if she wanted help it would have to be on another day and later in the day. She said OK. Mind you, years ago I would have bent over backwards to do what she wanted. I feel like I've had a lot of bad things happen in my life. But I have tried to learn to use them in some positive way. That is my wish for all of you. To use this time of conflict with your adult children to learn about and care for yourselves.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 748307, member: 11235"] Your posts about feeling so empty make me sad. For me my daughter's issues forced me to take a long, hard look at me. Why was I only feeling good if I was in relationships with some people? Why did I define myself by others and if they needed or wanted me in their lives? That's not living to my fullest potential. That is living for others. So I started working on me. What do I like to do? What am I interested in? Have I sold myself short in my career, not believing I could do more? I moved into a house on a lake and started interacting with nature every single day. I spent time just exploring with my dogs. I spent time just being with my dogs (in fact I did that today). If I didn't feel like doing anything, I didn't do anything. If I felt like having a drink with friends, I had a drink with friends. If I didn't want to clean my house, I didn't. I started doing all kinds of puzzles. I started working on photography. When I have my granddaughter I completely indulge her and do whatever she wants. I did home projects I never thought I could do. I became vegetarian. I started saying no. I became really invested in my career and got a major promotion. Mind you, all of this has happened over a period of the last 10 years, not all at once. But I used my problems with my daughter to improve my life. In fact, last week she asked me to help her with something but I didn't want to get up early, so I told her if she wanted help it would have to be on another day and later in the day. She said OK. Mind you, years ago I would have bent over backwards to do what she wanted. I feel like I've had a lot of bad things happen in my life. But I have tried to learn to use them in some positive way. That is my wish for all of you. To use this time of conflict with your adult children to learn about and care for yourselves. [/QUOTE]
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A very bad day
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